Unexpected love

Chapter 11: We're fucked.

Author Notes

I TOLD YOU BITCHES ILL BE BACK!

AUTOBOTS ROLL OUT!

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When I was a child, I never understood when people said the age-old phrase "you understand when you are older," I never have. Even though under the laws of government, I am an adult, but I still don't understand why people do what they do. I have never really thought about it until now. Driving to a remote place trying to find bestie and the Autobot it makes me think about how adults don't sit down and listen to each other. Why would sector 7 listen to me? To us? We are just two "kids" and illegal aliens. I don't think that the government will actually listen to us for anything. When I look at my life and its decisions so far all I can think of is that phrase. That damn phrase. I can't fucking understand shit.

We drive aways out, and I start to wonder where exactly are we going.

Me "Hey, where are we going?"

Radio "They are somewhere right out of Vegas."

Me "so about 4 hours away. I guess we have aways to go when I was a child I hated long car rides."

Radio "why?"

Me "car sickness."

It's true, I was a sickly child. I wouldn't throw up but I would feel sick all day long and wouldn't eat much that day. I missed nothing of those days. I hated the drained long car trips with my monstrous father. Why is it that I've been thinking a lot about him lately. Maybe that in some ways I am afraid that I am much more like him then I would like to admit. Perhaps I would only hurt bumblebee like my father hurt my mother.

Bumblebee "don't do that."

I look up to see bumblebees holoform.

Me "hello. When did you come out?"

Bumblebee "when I felt like you were slipping away from me."

Me "I'm right here. What do you mean?"

Bumblebee "you escape to your little world inside of your head. I've never met a human who thinks so much as you do. You might even beat Optimus in that."

Me "oh? Is that good?"

Bumblebee "he is a great leader, but he's lonely, he all by himself thinking. I don't want to see you like that."

Me "like what?"

Bumblebee "lonely. Why are you so lonely?"

Hearing the word lonely doesn't always make me think about me being lonely. But I am. I have been lonely for some time now. I shut myself in and shut everyone else out. Bestie is the only person who knows about me being lonely, but she doesn't bring it up because she knows I don't like talking about it. Talking. Another word I hate. I don't communicate well with other people, so that is why I often don't. I hate talking because it requires effort. Efforts in getting to know the person you are talking to or with. An effort that in a short time will mean nothing because more then likely you will never see that person again. I have to tell people over and over again, my likes and dislikes. Tell them what I want them to know, and if they are crazy enough to stay, they will find out that I am nothing like what they expect me as. That they will see me for what I really am. A fraud. People think I am nice and good-natured, but I hate it. I hate with a passion. I am envious. I am bitter and mean, and God, do I love to gossip. I everything and nothing at the same time. I am nothing. In my real life in my real world, I am nothing. Just a girl that had to grow up at the age of 11, I've had to become an adult and fend for myself. To learn everything fast and never once did I have a childhood. Father leaves her penniless on the streets and had to work hard for the little things she's had in her life. One after another life has beaten her down and she had to keep accepting that she isn't good enough. That she is just another sucker, who had the unfortunate luck to be born. But I have made lemonade out of the lemons that this life has given me. Why am I lonely. It's because I've lived a lonely life until now and that thanks to bestie. Why and I lonely? Because I fear that one day she will see what I see in myself and she too will leave me.