Night Changes// L.T AU

Chapter 17- 4th of July

***** so my mom bought us p!nk tickets for this Friday but now she has to get a hysterectomy and can't go. So I was trying to do the right thing n try to get in contact with p!nk Ik a private concert or whatever is asking for a lot but my mom honestly deserves it so I called up a million like numbers I found online that were affiliated with her but I got no where n I'm just so frustrated, like I'm just trying to do the right thing n I literally wanna cry cuz I'm so discouraged, sorry for the long authors note, I just needed to vent***

-4th of July-

So I usually go to my cousin's house for the 4th, but I figured Jay would probably appreciate my company more. I haven't visited the hospital in a few days, I just needed some me time, I'm sure Jay can understand that. I've been just so caught up in the Louis drama, I haven't been looking out for myself. And although it hasn't been too long I could see my health was deteriorating and I needed to take a step away from all the craziness. Although I needed this for myself, I feel kinda guilty because Jay can't do the same thing because her son is in the hospital.

I thought I could be more helpful and supportive if I was more myself, but I'll be back there today. I always loved the forth of July, I always loved fireworks and seeing my family. It's probably one of my favorite holidays. I explained to my family that I have priorities elsewhere and I wouldn't be attending this year and maybe we could meet up another time.

I was bringing some barbecue foods with me for Jay because Louis still couldn't eat just quite yet. I'm sure his trach would come out soon, probably when he moves to rehab. And I know a big part of the Fourth of July is having a barbecue and I'm almost positive I couldn't bring a barbecue into the hospital. Although if it were permitted, I totally would.

I got to the hospital around 5:30ish, I received a few stares in the elevator because of all the stuff I was carrying, but it didn't matter.

I entered the dead silent room, evidently startling the two people inside.

They both looked up at me with a smile.

"Hi Ashley," they greeted in unison.

"Hi, I brought some food," I told them, holding up the bag.

"Happy 4th," Jay said turning back to me and engulfing me in a hug.

"God, I love barbecue food, it tastes different on the 4th, though. It's just such a happy day and everything feels right. It's definitely one of my favorite holidays," Louis confesses.

I look at the trach in his throat and my heart breaks a little more.

I would let him eat all the food if he could. Next year will be different, better. I hope to god Louis is still in my life in a year.

I'd love to be with him, but I definitely need to have a conversation with him about what Jake told me. Him still loving me makes things so much more complicated. I should be relieved to hear it, I mean isn't this what I wanted? I prayed to god this would happen, so why am I not running back to him? All of this was before I met Louis. I'm so much more conflicted than I was hoping to be, but everything works out, doesn't it?

With these thoughts running through my head, I robotically placed the food on the table, which consisted of burgers, salad, macaroni salad, and spicy noodles that are honestly to die for. It seems like a lot of food, but I don't exactly know what Jay likes so I brought everything I could think of.

I made a plate for Jay first and than myself. She kept thanking me, but I assured her it was no problem at all. Doing a good thing just leaves you with a warm good feeling inside so I don't mind helping people out. I think the world would be a better place, if people helped out people more. Most things are like second nature, like keeping the door open for the person behind you when entering a building. Most things don't take much thought, just follow your instinct and you'll be fine.

The problem with today's kids is they don't know respect or how to properly treat people, maybe they were never taught or never cared enough to learn. My parents raised me and all of my siblings pretty well. Although Faith and Delilah are still quite young, I think they are already on the track to being really great people. I guess I have to thank my grandparents for raising my parents so well. I love my grandparents so much, they are honestly like the greatest people in the world.

Jay had a small smile on her face as she dug into her food.

"Ashley, you are honestly an angel, I couldn't have done any of this without you, thank you so much," she praised looking like she was about to cry.

"It's really no problem," I assured her, my cheeks heating up.

After filling my plate up, I sat down next to Jay, and dug into my food. I was starving, I haven't eaten since earlier this morning. The entire day, I ignored the growls from my stomach.

I don't know why I was nervous coming to the hospital today. Maybe I thought it was possible that Louis' condition could've gotten worse, or it might be awkward since I haven't seen them in a few days. I tried to dismiss these thoughts, but I tend to worry a lot and think irrationally.

"I love fireworks so much," Louis said breaking the silence.

"Me too," I quietly agreed with a small smile.

"When you were younger, you used to hate them, but as you grew up, they became one of your favorite things. You loved the colors, but you were never to fond of the loud noise. But I don't think anyone is to be honest," Jay added glancing at Louis.

We chatted for a bit more waiting for the loud pops to start coming. It was pretty dark out, so I was sure they would start soon.

I was thinking about surprising Louis with fireworks, but I don't think they are permitted on hospital grounds so I wisely decided against it. I'm sure the surrounding neighborhood would make up for it. I wasn't planning on getting thrown out of the hospital tonight.

In about a half hour, bangs could be heard from outside. I helped Louis over to the window so he could watch. I pulled up three chairs so we could all sit together. Louis is walking a lot better than the last time I saw him, I'm guessing therapy has started, I'm sure with Louis' determination he'll be back to himself in no time.

"I'd love to go outside, but I'm still a bit sensitive to sound and light, but I'm better with the light."

"It's okay, we have a pretty good view from here," I assured him.

"Yeah, you're right," he agreed looking intensely out the window.

"I bet the next one will be green," Louis said smirking.

"No, it'll be red," I counter.

"I think blue," Jay butts in.

The next firework explodes with sparkles of purple.

"None of us were right," Louis says.

"Technically blue and red make purple," I answer with a small giggle.

"It doesn't matter," Louis says with a chuckle.

His whole face lights up when he smiles, it's probably the most beautiful sight ever. I wish the whole world could see it, I think the world would be a much better place if they could see Louis' smile.

The whole night was filled with small talk and laughter, it was honestly a great night.

I surprised Jay with some dessert and assured Louis that when he was out, I'll treat him to whatever food he wants.

Eventually the fireworks stopped and Louis started yawning.

"You should probably start heading home," Jay said, helping me pack up what I brought.

"I'll be back before you know it," I assured them stepping out of the room. The halls were almost completely empty.

The nurses and ladies at the front wished me a goodnight.

*** I wrote this so long but I didn't edit it till just today, I've just been busy***