Karrueche
"Where's Milan?" I asked as soon as Jay opened the door. "She upstairs sleep, did you forget what time it was? Why did it take you so long to get here?" I checked my phone and it shown that it was going on midnight. I had called Jay at least seven hours ago asking him if I could come over and talk to him. It wasn't my intention to come this late, but I had to make sure this is exactly what I wanted to do.
Opening up is never easy, I just got use to telling Chris everything and I haven't even hit the core of all my problems. Him not talking to me made me realize that Jay was the one that I needed to talk to. It's easy to tell an outsider how someone has done you wrong or how that person made you feel, but it's telling the actual person who did the harm that makes the pain go away.
I already told Chris how he made me feel and he has apologized over and over again for his mistakes. That made things better for me, but there was still this huge weight on my shoulders. I don't think Jay knows how he made me felt or if he even cares. Tonight though, he will listen regardless of how mad he gets.
"You want anything? Some water or something?" I shook my head no and followed him to his living room. I looked around his house carefully, examining every inch. This was my first time actually being in here and although it may be a little too late, being that Milan has been here countless times, I still wanted to make sure that my baby was in a safe environment. If I was to feel otherwise, I wouldn't hesitate at all to go upstairs and remove her from here. It was suitable for a child and for that I am happy.
We both sat on his couch and for a while there was silence. I started to have second thoughts because I had a gut feeling that I traveled all this way for nothing. Jay has always been stubborn and if things don't go his way, it's no way at all. I do believe that over time, people can change, but I feel like this would only bring the the old him back.
"I know you didn't call to talk and drive over here to not say anything. Say something Kae, let me know what's on your mind." I got a little more comfortable and faced him. "I wanna talk about us Jay. I know you probably don't want to hear this, but I felt like when we were together, what we had was real. That, of course, all changed when I got pregnant and you decided to mess around. I'm not here to talk down on you or remind you of all the fucked up shit you've done to me because we both know the cheating was just the tip of the iceberg, I just wanna know why? I understand people make mistakes and nobody's perfect, but why wait til I get pregnant to cheat? Why not before so we wouldn't have to bring a child into this world on bad terms?"
He let out a deep sigh, leaning back in the couch. "The truth is Kae, I didn't start cheating on you when you got pregnant. That's just when you found out, you knew the type of person I was but you insisted on making me a relationship guy. I wasn't ready for that. You also allowed me to do certain things like stay out late and sometimes didn't even care when I didn't come home and was gone for days at a time, you can't sit here and blame the guys for how we treated you when you never put your foot down. And I can't apologize for something I was allowed to do. Yes cheating is wrong and I do apologize for hurting you, but I can't for my sneaky ways. I have learned from them and sometimes I do wish that we can start us all over again and do it right."
My heart dropped. I was lost for words, but I also understood everything he was saying to me. I did allow things to happen to me that I knew weren't right but at the time I didn't know how to stick up for myself. All this time I was looking for someone to blame when I should've taken a look in the mirror.
"Kae, you good?" I nodded. "I'm perfectly fine, I just need to work on myself and you helped me realize that." He placed his hand on my knee and looked at me. "No matter what I said, just know you're an amazing person. I know I said you allowed things which is the reason why you got treated the way you did, but that does excuse or justify what I did to you. You deserved better then and you deserve it now. Always remember that."
"Thank you Jay, and I mean it. But let me get going, just call me when you're bringing Milan home." I stood up and we hugged each other goodbye. I still want to make things right with Chris, but I feel as though now isn't the right time. Instead, I'll give him his space and that'll give me enough time to actually find out who Karrueche really is. I'll also use this time to make things right with Seiko, she doesn't deserve the way I've been treating her. I just hope she's willing to listen.
Chris
I was still feeling some type of way about everything that occurred last night, but I couldn't say I was still mad. I'm not answering her calls or texts for the simple fact that we need some time apart. We've been hanging out non-stop lately and we really just need to do our own thing. Who knows, maybe she'll get her family back together.
I laughed at myself because I knew for a fact Kae wouldn't get back with that nigga. No matter how much he might push up on her or spit game, I know she couldn't go back. At least that's what she constantly tells me. If anything, Karrueche just needs to stay away from the both of us and focus on being in a relationship with someone new. Someone who would know how to treat her how she should be.
I know now that I can only treat Karrueche right if we're friends. I think back of how I was so set on her being my girl again that I didn't realize that having her back as my best friend was just as good. I really need this time to be single and focus on how I'm gonna start making my own money and get back on my feet. I have a few ideas, but I'm scared of rejection. So for now I'm just going to keep my plans to myself and wait until I have it all together.
"Nigga, why you down here sitting in the dark?" Keeis said opening up the blinds in the living room. I covered my eyes and shrugged. "I'm just think man, I need to get my life together, do something with it." He nodded and cleaned up the small mess that I had made of balled up paper. "Take your time, you just got home. Don't expect for shit to take off instantly cause that's only gonna get you more upset. But what's this?" He went to straighten out the paper but I snatched it out his hand.
"Just something I'm working on, nothing serious." He took the paper back and looked at it attentively. "Bro, this shit is dope. I didn't know you could draw like this, what you tryna do? Open your own art studio or something?"
"Nah, I kinda wanna start up a clothing line, but I don't think I'm ready for all the work that comes with it. It's just one of the many ideas I have in mind." He nodded his head and went through the other pieces of paper that were on the floor. "I think you should go for it. There's a lot of clothing stores in L.A. that you could check out, probably talk to the owners and see how to get started."
"I'll see, like I said I'm not fully sure about the idea. But I'll keep that in mind. Thanks bro." He finished cleaning up. "No problem, anything you need I'm here. And I'll always be your number one supporter. Fam gotta support fam so I always got you, don't forget it." He said, walking out.
"But yo, where you going?" He started cheesing. "Oh nowhere, I'm just gonna get something to eat with Seiko." I laughed. "So you feeling her huh?"
"I guess you can say that, I really don't know but last night at Kae's house, we really hit it off. It's kinda too early to tell now. But speaking of shawty, ya good?" I let out a breath. "We cool, we just won't be kicking it a lot from now on." He shook his head.
"I'm sick of ya already, both of you need to get your shit together." I laughed. "You right bro, go have fun though. Always remember to use protection." He flipped me the bird and was out of sight.
