These Four Walls

One

I wake up bright and early, today's the day. The day I get to move on with the rest of my life.

The day I finally get to be who I want to be and not just a copy of what everyone wants me to be.

I look at the clock on my bedside table and the red numbers tell me it's quarter to seven.

I quickly get up and throw my hair in a ponytail. I look around my small room, this place has been my safe haven for the past 18 years and I'm about to leave it all behind.

This room has been my shelter from everyone that has ever hurt me. This room has seen my tears; it's heard my cries and my screams.

The few boxes that held my belongings were in a pile by the door. Hopefully, I've packed all the things that I need.

I got into the shower to calm my mind. I can do this. I'm ready for this chapter of my life to start. I need to get away.

Once I finish my shower I grab a pair of jeans and a black shirt and put them on. I decide to leave my hair in its natural curls, there's no point in fixing it now. I look at the clock again and it read 7:45.

"Jade honey, are you awake?" I hear my mother outside my room. I open the door to see her with a bright smile.

"Yes, mam. I'm awake and ready to leave." I tell her.

"You really want to leave that badly huh?" She asks me and holds on to me. We head down the stairs and I see my dad at the table reading his newspaper, just like every other morning.

I ignore my mother's question and sit on the left side of my dad. "Good morning." I say to him. He looks up from his newspaper and nods at me. "Got everything you need Jade?" He asks as he puts the paper aside.

"I think so. I made a list, so hopefully I have everything." I tell him as my mom passes me the plate with eggs.

"Know your way there? It's only about an hour and a half but knowing you, you're gonna get lost." He says to me.

"Actually dad, I know my way around there pretty well. Thanks." I say to him. My father and I don't have the best relationship in the world, but I try my best. He just doesn't.

"Alright, suit yourself. If you get lost, make sure to call you sister. Maybe she'll come and get you." He adds before getting up from the table and heading back to the kitchen.

"Why does he still see me as a kid? I'm 18 mam. I can handle myself." I ask my mother. She just gives me a sympathetic look.

"You know how your father is Jade." She tells me. All I can do is nod at her, she always takes his side.

"Yeah, I know that I'm not exactly his favourite." I whisper to myself quietly.

"Jade, that's not true." My mother tries to argue with me but I know the truth. My father expected me to be a boy and when I came out a girl, he was disappointed. So he's never been fond of me ever since I was little.

"Excuse me please." I tell my mam, as I get up from the table not even bothering to finish the rest of my food.

I thought that he'd finally be proud of me. When my sister got her acceptance letter, he was ecstatic. He even threw a party in her honour and he showered her with presents and told her over and over again that he was proud of her.

When I got mine all I got a nod and a congratulations. That's it. I don't understand why he treats me this way; it's not my fault that I ended up being a girl.

I head back to my room quickly because I could feel my anger building up. I pace back and forth in the little space I have until my phone rings.

I look at the screen and my best friend's picture pops up. "Perrie." I sigh onto the phone. She asks if I'm okay.

One of things I love about her, she knows me like the back of her hand. The down side to that is that I can't hide anything from her.

"I'm alright Pez. Just the usual. Just my dad." I tell her as I load my car keys and my wallet into my purse. She asks me when was I going to leave.

"In about half an hour. I'll be there by half nine." I tell her as I grab the last jumper in my closet.

"I gotta go Pez. I'll see you soon." I tell her and shut the phone off as I put on the jumper.

I hear a knock on my door and my mom pokes her head through the door. "Can we talk?"

I nod my head and she comes in and sits on my bed and motions for me to come sit beside her.

"Jade, darling... I'm sorry about your father." She starts. I shake my head at her. "You don't have to apologize for him mam." I tell her and she grabs my hand.

"I want you to know that we're both very proud of everything you've achieved my dear. Even if-" But I cut her off quickly.

"I've heard all of this before mam. You don't have to say it again. If you're trying to mend my relationship with dad, it's not working because you're not him. You can't just speak for him all the time mam! He needs to be mature enough to come talk to me himself!" I yell at her.

My father bursts through the door and he looks angry. "Don't ever yell at your mother like that Jade! It's your last day here and that's how you treat her?" He yells at me.

"James dear, it's alright." My mother says but my father refuses to let it go. "You should be thankful for everything we've done for you!" He adds.

I cower back in fear. My father has yelled at me numerous times through the years but never like this.

I think it's because he heard what I told my mother and he's upset about it. I want to yell back at him but I know that it will only make things worse.

"Get out of this house." He says after a few minutes of silence. "Get out right now." He continues. I look at him with disbelief.

"I wish you were mature enough to tell me how you really feel about me. I know that I'm not your favourite child but you don't need to treat me this way." I say to him.

I can feel the tears about to come out but I can't let him see me like this. I grab my purse and the few boxes by my door and look back at them. This is the memory they want to remember me by? Fine, so be it.

"I hope you're happy." I say to him and I run down the stairs and out to my car. I get in quickly and drive out of the driveway.

I see my mom by the door with tears in her eyes and my father behind her. I can't believe this.

He kicked me out of the house. He's done so many terrible things to me throughout the years, but this has to be the worse. It was my last day with them and that's how he treats me?

The tears that I managed to hold back earlier were spilling now. I've never felt so lonely in my life.

Today was supposed to be a good day. I was supposed to say goodbye to my parents and drive away from my childhood house happily, but that isn't the case now.

I continue to drive to my destination when my phone began to ring and I saw that my mother was calling me.

I ignore it and try to focus on the road. The ringing continues and is non-stop until I decide to answer it. "What?" I say to the speaker.

"Wow, no need to be so rude Jade." I hear the familiar Irish accent say.

"Niall." I say with a smile. "Yep, where the heck are you?" He asks me. I look around me and notice that I was close to where I was heading.

"I'm five minutes away Nialler. I'll see you all soon." I say to him and hang up the phone.

I take a deep breath. This is my new beginning. This is where I can finally figure out who I am.

This is where I can be myself, whatever that may be. I believe I can do this. I know I can do this. I'm ready.

I look at the sign ahead. Oxford University. This is my new home.