ecstasy. || jeffmads (DISCONTINUED)

| t w e n t y |

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I was surprised I'd been able to go to school the next day. But even though this was the case, I walked around so cautiously you'd think I was a thief; so jittery, peering around as if I was afraid of being caught. Pull yourself together, James, I continued to tell myself, it's not a damn apocalypse. It wasn't. I was just so unfamiliar with people feeling a certain way towards me... and now that it was him, Thomas who felt that way... I was skeptical as all hell. I really just wanted to know why. Was it the way I acted? The way I spoke? The way I thought, joked, looked? Him and I didn't even speak that often. Maybe it was my peculiarity that attracted him. But still; for what reason? And for how long was "the longest time"? I was so caught up in my own thoughts that, typically, I wasn't watching where I was going, causing me to walk into someone.

"Oups, sor-" I didn't even allow him to complete his apology for flinching so violently I actually may have scared him. He stood there, blinking. I slowly looked up at him who began to show his blindingly white teeth as he smiled at me.
"¹Ah, c'est toi. All okay?" he asked, placing a hand on my shoulder. I tingled at his touch, just looking at him and blinking. I probably looked like an idiot, gawking at him like a goldfish. He closed his mouth, raising his eyebrows at me, then snapping me out of my imaginary world.
"Oh, I, uh, well, um- I didn't, uh, I was just- uh, my, uh, I couldn't see your, uh, you when I was... uh- fuck, I'm sorry." I sighed, pressing my palm to my forehead. Why was I such an idiot?! He chuckled, removing his hand from my shoulder.
"²C'est bien, mec. Would you like me to help you with that?" he was probably referring to my red face which then grew even redder as I interpreted what "that" was totally wrong. I just nodded as he began to lead me in the direction of the bathroom. I felt as if my head was going to explode from overheating. 

In the process of rinsing my red face, the bell went. I was late for physics. Then I paused. He was in physics with me. We were both late for physics. Although, he didn't seem to care all that much, and neither did I at this point because I was alone with him in the boys bathroom. Shut the fuck up, I told my mind. I sighed and looked towards him,
"Thanks, Gilbert. We should, uh, probably go..." I told, blinking again like an idiot as he just shrugged. What did that mean?
"Its not a, how you say, big deal, really." What? I frowned,
"How? I mean- why?" I questioned. He shrugged again. Was he actually about to bunk class with me? Him? Gilbert Du Motier? ME? I coughed and he smiled at me.
"Honestly, who gives a fuck about that damn lesson or that dumbass professor? I definitely don't." He explained, winking at me. He was hot when he swore. He was hot when he winked. He was hot when he existed.

Pull yourself together you dipshit! I thought to myself.

I tried to act casual, shrugging too.
"Guess I don't either. I just ain't planning to get shat on today, yeah."
He nodded.
"I get it. I don't know, I just wanna talk to you, mec."
Did he just say that? He did. I cleared my throat and nodded.
"That's cool."
He smiled at me and gestured towards the door then began walking. I nodded and followed him out. Where was he taking me? I didn't ask, just went with him. He walked alongside me, reaching over to place his hand behind my neck at some point. His hand was cool and I shuddered again. 
"³Alors," he began, "how are you? Hm? How've you been?"
I didn't know how to respond. Don't be complicated. I told myself.
"F- uh, fine. And you?"
He nodded.
"⁴Assez bien. No stress?" he inquired. Actually, not quite.
"I mean... there's always gonna be a little stress... you know?" I mentioned, looking up at him. He nodded again.
"Of course. Any, well, current stress?" there was a lot of that. Although, I thought before answering. I was actually becoming slightly nervous. Why was he asking me all this? I shrugged.
"Well, I mean, it depends, you know." I tried. He nodded once again.