Wolfstar Oneshots

0.04

Remus' P.O.V.

It's Valentine's Day. The day I dread every year. Why? Because I never have anyone to spend it with. My friends all have dates, or 'plans' in Sirius' case. Surprisingly, even Peter managed to successfully find a girl to spend the day with. But, the only thing on my schedule today is to sit by the fire in the common room and read about some cheesy romance, imagining myself with someone that finds me attractive and loves me just as much as I love them. That is, until I'm forced back into the crappy, loveless reality that coexists with my daily life. It's not like I have a chance with anyone, right? Who would be crazy enough to fall in love with a werewolf? Let alone, a gay one...

I climbed out of bed last, giving the other's a chance to shower and make themselves look nice for their dates. Plus, there was a full moon a few days ago and I'm still trying to recover fully, so the extra sleep was nice.

Once Sirius, my best friend and secret crush since third year, walked out wearing nothing but a towel around his waist, I ran into the bathroom. I love and hate when he does things like that. He is gorgeous and his body is flawless, save for a few scars here and there that his parents have given him over the years, but I think they just show how brave and strong he is for finding the courage to stand up to them. Unfortunately, he's straight, so I have no chance with him. But that doesn't mean I can't admire the artwork in front of me when the opportunity presents itself. It gives me something to think about... at times...

The Marauders know I'm gay. They found out a few years ago during a game of Truth or Dare at 3 in the morning. They said they didn't mind at all and they haven't treated me any differently because of it, which I'm grateful for. James and Peter did become slightly more reserved when it came to changing in front of me after they found out, but I understand and don't let it bother me too much. Sirius, on the other hand, seems to be much more open about showing off his body around me. It's like he's trying to tease me constantly and remind me of what I'll never have. It's a little irritating, but at least I know he doesn't feel uncomfortable around me.

I strip off my clothes and step in the shower. I decided to take my time, knowing I had no plans for the day, and let my thoughts consume me. Once I believe I've spent enough time drowning in self-pity, I step out of the shower and move to grab my towel. However, the door burst open before I could reach it. I froze in shock as the last person I ever wanted to know how pale, scarred, and unhealthily thin my body looked stood in the doorframe with a dumbfounded expression seemingly slapped across his face. His eyes travel over my ill-looking frame for a moment before I finally recover and grab my towel. I quickly wrap it around my waist, trying really hard to convince myself it was a mistake and that I shouldn't be angry with Sirius. I want to cry in embarrassment. My face heated up quickly, becoming red with a dark blush, making me incapable of finding the will to meet his eyes.

"What do you need, Sirius?" I ask quietly. He finally snaps out of his trance and clears his throat.

"I-I'm sorry," he mumbles and backs away, closing the door behind him.

Great, now I scared him off. I sigh, rolling my eyes at myself as a tear finally escapes. I wipe it away quickly and look at my reflection in the steamy mirror. I look awful. I despise every last scar on my body. My ribs are almost visible through my skin, even though I eat constantly. My collar bones are harshly defined and I'm so pale, it's almost blinding. I hate the way I look. I wish I looked more like Sirius or James, but I'm stuck looking almost like I have an eating disorder. I have thin arms and legs with seemingly no muscle, but still, I'm somehow stronger and faster than anyone that has ever challenged me.

I sigh and wipe away the remaining tears that had fallen down my face. I dry myself off and get dressed quickly, in the fear of another random break-in. I brush my teeth and shake my hair out before finally exiting the bathroom.