Hifumi's wonderful world

Chapter 1: Unexpected Fight

Hifumi's POV

I woke up, ready for the day, feeling stunningly awesome, like usual. I got off my bed, ready to charm the ladies. I checked my mirror to see my big, huge pecs. I got ready, putting my clothes on and admiring my awesome six-pack. I was ready for the day, I got out of my dorm room and saw Celeste waiting outside my room. She called out to me, "Oh Hifumi, how lovely you look today!"
"Thanks Celeste, I know I look stunning"
I flashed my shining white teeth at her and she fainted, blinded by the light. I went over and kissed her, saving her from the curse my teeth gave. Kyoko walked over and asked," Hifumi-san? What has happened over here?"
"Obviously I have blinded her by my wonderous light, I'm surprised how you haven't noticed this holy Aura around me."
Suddenly, "Oh Hifumi-san. I love you very much, but it will take more than that to get me, you baka."
Celeste woke up, stood up and grabbed me by the shoulders and gave me a little peck on the lips. Kyoko got jealous and slapped Celeste on the cheek, leaving the Ultimate Gambler's cheek bright red and sore. I was stunned, watching the girls have a fight in the hallway, shouting things like," Hifumi-san is mine!"
"Nu-uh! He's mine, back off!"
I smirked and sneaked off to the Dining Hall to get my Breakfast. There, I saw my dirty little rival, Makoto Naegi. Now, if my school life was a medieval romance, I would be the Prince, the girls would be the princesses and Makoto would be the evil villain I would vanquish.
He was so mean to all of the girls, flicking Toko's braids and roundhouse kicking Asahina, among other things. He simply had to be stopped. I hope someone would murder Makoto before I do, well, I had no plan on killing anyone and I am sure that I will survive because all of the boys would never get past me and the girls would never dream of it. Makoto was in the Dining Hall, eating his disgusting breakfast, I don't even know what it was, it was too disgusting and I didn't want to get close, in case I got poisoned, who knows what's in that food. I went to the kitchen and went to get my breakfast. Sayaka was in the kitchen, with my food already prepared. "Hifumi! I was waiting for you, I think you're a really cool guy and so, I've decided to make you breakfast! I hope you like it!"
I thanked Sayaka and walked out of the kitchen, It was a healthy Salad with some bacon and it smelled wonderful. I sat on the opposite side of Makoto, thinking of all the ways he could die. He left, terrified by my power.

Celeste's POV
I waited outside Hifumi Yamada's room, that stupid cow forgot that he would have to get up by now. I saw him come out and I sarcastically said," wow Hifumi, how nice you look today." Look, in all honesty, I hated his guts and he looked like utter shit, but I wouldn't want a bad reputation around here, would I? Yamada said thanks, not understanding the obvious sarcasm. He opened his mouth and tried to show his teeth to me. It was disgusting, so much so that I fainted. Now, I don't do that often but when I see a horror like his dental condition I simply cannot handle it.

Kyoko's POV

I was in the hallway, minding my business when I heard something or someone drop onto the floor. I just wouldn't want a murder to take place. I walk around and see Hifumi standing near Celeste, who had fainted on the floor. I simply ask Hifumi, the Ultimate fanfic creator," Yamada, what has happened here?"
"I don't know Kirigiri-san, I just tried to charm her and she fainted."
"That explains it. Yamada, stop trying to charm everyone, only 2d girls would find you attractive, and firstly, they don't exist and secondly, no 2d girls would ever want you."

Celeste woke up, and tried to stand up, I tell her that she might want to be careful standing up, she just fainted after all. Celeste stood up and slapped Hifumi on the cheek, leaving his cheek red. I tell Celeste she might want to calm down, she doesn't want to kill, does she? I also told her not to waste her time worrying over Yamada, he isn't any use to her. Celeste said bye to me and I went back to my room. I swear I get bad vibes from Yamada.

Makoto's POV

I was eating my toast when Hifumi bounced his way over to the kitchen, he looked over and evilly uwu'ed me. I was told by Toko what uwu means, she told me ,"It's what disgusting perverts like Hifumi use when they see their prey."
Oh no.
I went back to eating my toast when I saw Hifumi walk out with a plate of Bacon, eggs and toast. He sat opposite me and started giving me more uwu's. When I thought that it couldn't get worse, he started winking at me and drooling. I left, disgusted by what I saw. When I was about to open the door, Hifumi asked me, "Makoto-san? Where are you going, I was enjoying your company."
"Sorry Hifumi, I have to go help Sayaka with something."
I know it was a lie but I was creeped out by Hifumi and that was the first excuse I thought of, who knows, maybe I might ask Sayaka to help me with something. I left the dining hall and went back to my room.

This is chapter one of a new crackfic! This chapter was made by me, but I am partnering with Warrior_weeb64 ! Next chapter is by her!
(Okay so I'm making this edit if no one understands, we're making this like the first game, it's split into different chapters, first few chapters will be before the murders, the prologue and we may skip some plot stuff but I mean, this has spoilers so I don't think someone's going to learn about the game from this)