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Claudia
Its now the 15 day after the breakup. I haven't spoken to anyone. I haven't left my home. I've been a crying hurt mess. We leave today for SF. We play there until the 19th then we go to Milwaukee. So i put more thought into it and i won't be going to the gala. I just see no point. Alex was my date. I just don't wanna see him. "You good?" Nate asks. "Yup" i say. He's taking me to the airport. He's watching bazzi. I'm not taking him. I just need to clear my head. Its 8am right now. "You sure?" He asks. "Yeah" i say. Not really. Its almost a year since my grandma , plus dealing with this break up. Not the best combo. I'm going to a place where I'm not wanted.

"I'll see you when i see you" he says and i force a chuckle. "See you" i say. I enter the private plane waiting area . we then get searched then get let on the jet. They take food orders then prepare for take off. I connect my phone to head phones and ignore everything. I thank her for the food and eat a bit then just continue with my music.

"girllllllll! on repeat 24/7 @billieelish"

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"girllllllll! on repeat 24/7 @billieelish"

I don't even notice I'm crying until i feel arms wrapped around me. Fuck. This hurts. Alot. So much i can't. I physically cant. "I love and and i don't want to" billie sings. FUCK whoever is hugging me pulls away and its corinna. I take my headphones off.  "Are you okay?" She asks and i nod as i wipe the tears. "Yeah" i say. "I'm sorry. I don't like seeing you cry. We're all older , seeing you like this makes me sad. Your a sister to us our younger sister. I don't want you to hurt. We've been horrible to you , i can't imagine how you felt. I'm sorry" she says. Yeah yeah girl i don't care. I couldn't give one single fuck.

We land and i get my bags and exit the plane getting on the bus. I sit alone again. We soon get to the hotel and get our room keys. Again I'm alone which i don't care about anymore. I'm fine now. I prefer being alone. I get stopped by andrew before i head to elevators. "Yes?" I ask. "Corinna and other of your teammates asked if they could room with you next trips" he says. "I of course need to ask you first before anything gets booked" he says. "I'm good rooming alone" i say. "So no?" He asks. "No" i say. "Okay" he says then lets me go. I get to the elevator and go to the 5th floor and find my room.

I get comfortable and lay down. I'm now in a oversized hoodie , biker shorts and fuzzy socks. I'm really comfortable. I'm watching  stranger things on my laptop. I'm half way through episode 1 when someone knocks on the door. I get my phone and walk to the door. I check the peep hole and its corinna. I the open the door. "Hi , i just wanted to come over and ask if you wanted to come get food with us and just walk around" she says. "oh no thank you" i say. "Are you sure?" She asks. "Yeah. I'm doing stuff" i say. "Oh okay" she says. Its kinda awkward as she leaves. I close the door and lay down again. So last time i went out with vic or i guess everytime i go out there is ALWAYS an issue.

I get the "she needs to not go out" "she expects to be the best while going out?" So now I'm going incognito.

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Today is the gala. I'm not going ofc. "Yes?" I ask answering my phone. "Mom is gonna have the baby" vic says. "Okay I'm on my way" i say. "Okay we're on the way to the hospital" he says. "Okay" i say. I get up and make sure bazzi is good then i get dressed and i go to my car. I'm wearing a oversized tshirt and some biker shorts. Its been a week since the breakup. It's been the hardest week , I'm emotionally drained. I hurry to the hospital it's 8am. Not alot of traffic.

"Hey" i tell vic. "Hey" he says. "Where's wendy?" I ask. "Bre" he says and i nod. "Have they said anything?" I ask. "She's getting checked" he says. "How is she having the baby though? She's just 8 months" he says. "Thats one of the risks she had" i say. "Premature birth" i say. We stay waiting then a nurse comes. Nate isn't here in l.a , you see nate is a event promoter for this label , meaning he travels with artist to promote the concert or event they have. Him and sam work together. "Tihan family?" A nurse asks. "Yes?" I ask. "How are you related?" She asks. "Daughter and he's a son" i say. "Okay. Your mother did have a premature birth. You can follow me" she says.

We get to a door and get told to put scrubs on. We then enter the room and theres incubators. "This is the baby" she says. OMGGGGG widdo baby. My HEART BIHHHH. She tells us stuff and we stay for a little then go with my mom. "Did you see him?" She asks. "Yes he's the most adorable baby I've seen" i say. "We're staying here , i was going to ask you if they can stay with you. Because they're keeping him in a incubator we need to be here" my dad says. "Yeah that's fine" i say. "Wait what about your games? No we can't ill call your aunt" she says. "No it's fine i got it" i say. We stay with my mom then vic and i leave. Its 7pm when we go pick up Wendy from my aunts. I then take them to eat the go to my parents and get clothes and their necessities.

"So how are we sleeping?" Vic asks. My place has two rooms. "I want to sleep with you" Wendy says. "Okay" i say. "I get to sleep by myself" vic says and i chuckle. "Get ready a bath wendy" i say and she nods going into my room. "Can we watch a movie?" Vic asks. "Yeah" i say. "Pick a child friendly one then when she's asleep we can watch another one" i say and he nods. I go into my room and then my bathroom and help wendy with her bath then she gets dressed and we go watch a movie.

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