The Sins of Our Fathers

I Ghost

The wind howls as it blows gust after gust of snow over my. I've been wandering the streets for so long now that my already pale hair must be white like an old woman's. It's been so long since I've seen a mirror though that I wouldn't know what my hair truly looks like anymore. All I can tell is that the blonde strands are curly and matted with dirt from the weeks it's gone without washing.

Three years ago today marked the anniversary of my mother's death and the day everything changed. My previously perfect life had shattered, and fallen so far apart that I wasn't sure who's life it was anymore. Before I had been royalty among men, now I am an outcast of society.

All around me there is life, but I'm not a part of it. Children laugh and run through piles of snow that cover the earth like a blanket. Snowballs fly as they throw them at each other, each aglow with the mindless joy of a child. Everything speeds by in a blur moments of happiness and bliss all melding together as I watch- the constant shadow in the sun.
Occasionally a child will force a smile as they run past me, but their parents aren't so kind however. They see me on the frozen sidewalk and push their baby carriages faster staring bullets into the ground in a desperate attempt to avoid eye contact.

It wasn't always like this, there was a time when those same parents smiled and invited me over for play dates with their kids, but those days are long past. Now I stand invisible to them- a permanent shadow they never notice-or choose not to. I don't blame them, if I was in their shoes I wouldn't be willing to acknowledge my existence either. No one wants to befriend someone who could destroy them- whether they mean to or not.

The incident all those years ago wasn't my fault, but those snobby PTA moms didn't see it that way and in a single day I lost everything and became the ghost I am today.

•••

"Neoma!" Kalie screamed from inside our small shack. Crumbling wooden walls and a barely there roof was the sum of our exceptionally humble home.
I had started rooming with Kalie and her gang six months ago when I became so desperate for any kind of shelter and warmth that I couldn't refuse the gang's offer anymore. I might value my morals, but I valued my life even more. It might have been hole filled and flea ridden, but anything was better than laying on a frozen park bench trying to sleep. In the beginning when I was asleep on the wads of discarded clothes that made my bed now, I dreamed of my big, fluffy warm bed that I used to have, but those dreams had long since faded. Now I dream of revenge.

"What Kalie?" I grumbled ducking through the thin curtain that made the door of our shack.

I had expected it to be only her, but the rest of the gang was gathered around her, arms crossed. Dimitri Gregovich stepped out of the mob, his long muscly legs holding him leagues above the others. Dimitri had been the leader for as long as I could remember, no matter who tried to take control he had beaten them. He and Kalie had been the two steady presences in my life even when I hadn't been a part of their little gang. Dimitri had found me one morning on a park bench and taken me under his wing teaching me how to survive on the streets.

At first I'd been hesitant to steal, or beg, but soon I was a seasoned con man. That Dimitri I had known then was as kind as he was strong, but the one in front of me now was none of those things. His normally soft kind green eyes were hard and full of betrayal and hate. "What's wrong Dimitri?" I asked reaching for him. He jerked his arm back, his lip curled in disgust.

"There were two men who came asking for you today." He said coldly detached. I froze. They had found me; how? I'd been so careful. I stared at Dimitri silently my mouth unwilling to move. I wanted to fall to my knees and beg for forgiveness, to explain why I'd kept this from him, but I couldn't, he wouldn't understand.

Watching him I felt what was left of my heart shatter as I took- what I knew what would most likely be my last- look at him. His wavy brown hair was shaggy from months without a trim and stubble coated his chin, highlighting the strong jaw I had lived from the moment I'd seen him. Dimitri didn't know it, but I'd been in love with him for years.

"You're his daughter." He practically spat at me. "Why the hell wouldn't you tell me? No better yet how did you even have the nerve to show your face here?"
Hearing his words hurt worse than I had imagined, I knew they were coming, but even so they tore through my heart shredding me. The last traces of the calm that had held me together since my mothers vanished and I snapped.

"Did you ever think that I didn't tell you because I knew you'd react like this!"

"He killed my father!"

"He killed a lot of people." I shrugged.

"I can't believe I ever trusted you! Get out, and if you ever show your hideous face around here again demon I'll kill you myself." Dimitri growled pulling out a dagger and throwing it at me. It tore into my cheek drawing a line from an inch below the corner of my right eye to the edge of my lip. A tear dripped down my face mixing with my blood as I fled out into the snow.