Genesis ► GREY'S ANATOMY [1]

CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

COURTNEY WAS FINE. Really, she was fine. Sure, she may have bawled her eyes out the moment she had gotten home from the prom. She had gotten into her room and hadn't left until the next morning. She didn't want anyone to know how much of an emotional wreck she had been. Besides, they had been more focused on Izzie anyway. For days, the girl hadn't left the bathroom floor. She had been lying there in her pink prom dress and they had tried to get her to stand up, but nothing worked. Almost everyone had gone in there and did some little inspirational speech to make Izzie feel better. Courtney hadn't though. She couldn't do that, not when whenever she had caught a glimpse of Izzie, she had felt worse than she was before. What would she have felt if she had faced Izzie in the bathroom?

No matter how many times the others tried to talk her into talking with Izzie, she didn't budge. They had meant well. They knew that Courtney was the kind of person that set people straight. She told them how things were, even it was bad. They thought that she would go in there and tell Izzie that Denny would want her to move on even if it was hard. Their plan had been that Courtney would go in and make Izzie realize that she could live on without Denny. Her life didn't need to end just because he wasn't in it anymore. So, when Courtney had refused to go, Meredith had gone to talk with Izzie. George had looked at Courtney, a little disappointed.

Time went by and even Cristina had gone into the dreaded bathroom. Then, one time, they had corned her in the kitchen. Again, asking if she would want to talk with Izzie. They knew that her friendship with Izzie had been a bit rocky, but Izzie needed this. She needed her friends right now. Courtney had felt a bit overwhelmed in that moment and had rushed out the door. She knew that they had meant well. They cared about Izzie and wanted the best for her. She didn't blame them for pushing her, because she understood. If the tables had been turned, Courtney probably would have done the same.

She had ended up at the hospital. She hadn't realized that until then the hospital had been her little safe space. When she walked in, she could just push her feelings down and throw herself onto a new case. Even if she couldn't fix herself, she could fix someone else. So, that was what she had done. She had gone into the pit and grabbed the first case that was rolled through those double doors. It had been pretty ironic that it had been a heart patient. But feelings didn't matter, so she pushed them down and scrubbed into the surgery a little bit later on. Together with Seattle Grace's number two cardio surgeon, Dr. Watkins ( he was the one that seemed to have a new significant other every week ), she operated on an actual heart.

She had felt great, until she realized that she needed to go home eventual. However, the universe sprinkled a bit of luck on her. When she had gotten home, Meredith had told her that Izzie had left the bathroom floor. Courtney had been relieved, but not for the reason that you would think of. She had been happy because of the fact that she wouldn't have to face Izzie. Everything would turn out fine.

However, that night the nightmares started. Every time she closed her eyes, she was transported back to the moment where everyone screwed up their own careers. But instead of Denny lying on the operating table, it had been Meredith the first time. Then, another night, it had been Alex. Then it had been Callie's turn. Her brain liked to switch it up every night, rotating between the three of them. Sometimes, surprise, it had been someone else, like Cristina or George, but most of the time it had been the other three. However, that wasn't the worst part of her nightmare. Right before Courtney woke up in a cold sweet, she had to look at herself, standing there with a heart in her hand. Blood was everywhere. On her face, on the floor, on her close ones. Then they said one sentence that made her gasp for air. Why, Courtney, why?