Never forgotten ~ Bucky Barnes

EIGHT-TEEN

When we think we are close to discovering who we were, we just get sucked back into our minds and once again don't know a thing about ourselves.

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It had been a while since Winter and I talked, when Winter had noticed blood coming from the back of my head from where I hit it,  he ordered me to sleep so if i had a concussion I could sleep it off. He had promised me that he would look over while I slept, knowing the reason why both of us never really slept in the first place. It took a little while for him to convince me, but after he reassured me I reluctantly accepted that I needed the sleep he was insisting for me to take.

Though I tried, the sleep I needed so much didn't come easy. I tried everything I could, forcing my mind to calm down and go blank. To twisting and turning in my metal bed. The later was not so comfortable. However, eventually sleep came to me. In my head I thought of dreams when you sleep, at first I didn't know what  'dreams' meant but it was like my brain already knew. Dreams where a series of pleasant thoughts, images, and sensations occurring in a person's mind during sleep.

What I experienced was not a dream, I had flash backs of Hydra beating me to the point of death. They tore my bionic, vibranium limbs from my body slowly. They took the wires connecting them to me and viciously broke them off, each and everyone one of the many wires attached to my arm and leg. Suddenly, the room goes pitch black and I'm no longer in pain, my head flys to look at my bionic limbs and I see that they are still there. Confused about what was happening only a few moments ago, I look up and see Winter.

He was strapped to a dentist like chair, except it was quite worn through. With rips lining the chair, dirt covered the once maroon colour. A huge spot light kind of light (that was connected to the back of the old, rugged dentist chair) hanged above him, shinning on his sweat covered body. Blood mixing into the body fluid, making the blood run down his face faster.

Stubble had grown on his cheeks, chin, upper lip and a little down his neck. Crinkles on the out skirts of his eyes from what I presume to be from smiling. Though he hadn't done a lot of that lately, it's just been screams of pure agonny and the only things coming from his eyes were the odd tears from where he just couldn't take it. Glancing to his eyebrows and forehead was what made me dread looking into is ghostly steel blue orbs.

His eyebrows where frowned and indentations formed between them, from when the skin that has been pulled together. His forehead had the same thing, his skin had been pulled together from the emotion he had once shown. Except these lines ran horizontal and not portrait like it did between his eyebrows.

To prevent myself from looking into his eyes, I busied myself with looking at the state of what his chocolate brown hair was in. There was at least a couple months worth of grease mixed into it. I saw a tinge of red from the blood that always somehow made it's way into his hair. The way his hair was matted, showed me that he had never really brushed it in a while either, making me wonder how long he had been tortured by Hydra.

While I wanted to I couldn't put off looking into his eyes any longer, so I did. My heart dropped to the pit of my stomache. My heart felt like it broke, like it was made of flimsy glass. His eyes showed so much concern like I was the one in trouble. They showed sorrow and pain like I've never seen before, like they have been through hundreds of lifetimes worth of pain and devistation.

He tried to shake his head, but winced in pain. After he regained control of his head again, blue eyes didn't look at me. But rather past me, and at something else that was behind me. I was confused at first, wondering why he was concerned of whats behind me. However, when I did a full one eighty turn I too saw why he was.

Behind me was Alexandra peirce and a dozen or so of his Hydra men. I could feel the blood drain from my face. He looked at me dead in the eyes and then gives me a evil smile, that stretches across his face and reaches his ears. Suddenly I'm frozen in place. His gaze had pushed fear into my soul (if I had any bit of it left) and made me terrified of him and what he could do to me.

He step forward, closer to my body and I stepped back. I didn't want him to be near me or my body. As he kept stepping towards me, I kept stepping back. Though, what I didn't know was that he was backing me into a corner that I didn't know was there. Although, I soon found out about it  as my body hit it.  

As soon as it happened, he was on me like I was his prey. He took my arms in his dry, cold hands and dragged me to an electric V top surgery table. From one moment to another I was strapped down onto the surgery table wriggling to get out. Trying to get my hands free of the restraints that were tying my hands down to the point of it rubbing and soon making my skin peel and make blisters.

With out warning, the room goes black once more. Making me blind for a few short seconds. Even though the room was black and I couldn't see anything, sounds assaulted my hearing. I could hear saws go off and get near to me making me squirm. Shouts and yells of agony in the distance, followed by what I could make out to be someone get viciously beaten. To what extent I didn't really want to know.

Abruptly,  I wake up. Sweat dripping down my face and neck. My hair sticking to my forehead thick with the body fluid I was producing. I suck in deep breaths of air my body so desperately needed and asked for. My sight darts around the room and my eyes catches Winters ones. Understanding shines through above all, making me calm down.

I sit up and rock myself slowly every so often, calming my body from the shock I'd given myself. As my mind and body were calming down, I silently awaited for agents to come and wipe my mind. For what I could remember this was the first time I actually wanted them to wipe my mind. To get what I saw behind my closed eyelids out of my brain. I didn't want to remember any of that. The image I don't want to remember the most was Winter being so beaten and so broken.

I couldn't deal with the image. I sounded like a failer. I knew that. But I just can't deal with the image I saw of Winter, so I closed my eyes and prayed that they would come take me sooner then later.