Time to get out

Goodbye Harper

Harpers POV

The sun poured through the dirty window, welcoming the new year.

"Are you awake, love?" Matty whispered in his husky morning voice.

I just groaned and went back to sleep hearing his chuckled before he slipped his arms around me and rolled ontop of me. "I have to tell you something." He whispered, suddenly serious. I stopped laughing, the tone of his voice slightely scaring me.

"Breakfast first?" I asked, trying to lighten the mood. His eyes seemed to brighten a little bit and i couldnt help fall for him a little bit more. He nodded and hopped of me, helping me up. We walked downstairs and into the empty kitchen.

"Want me to make you pancakes?" He asked, looking in the cupboard. I smiled, leaned in and kissed his cheek.

"What the fuck was that Harper, am I your brother?" He responded to my cheek kiss, pulling me in and roughly pressing his lips against mine. He ended it quickly though, putting down the pancake mix and sitting me on the bench.

"Harper.." He looked sad and worried which scared me. "I have to tell you...something."

I placed my hands on the side of his head, pulling him between my legs. My palm rested on his cheek and he placed his hand over mine, turning his head and kissing my palm. "Matty just tell me. It's ok." I said, allowing him time to speak.

He looked down at the bench before talking. "Im leaving...Harry, Luke and I...We have to go. I cant tell you where we are going or why but just know that it isnt what i want. I dont want to leave you." His voice shook and i soon realised, so did my hands. He leant closer to me and tugged at his hair, a nervous gesture he did alot. His eyes shifted around and i could see him breathing deeply. He lifted a ciggarte to his lips, lit it and breathed out heavily. I then realised that smoking wasnt a habit for him, or a way to look bad ass. It was a release of pain, the chemicals spreading through his lungs. 

"What do you want then?" I asked, harsher then i planned.

"What do I want? All i want it you!" His expresion was one of rergret and worry.

"Then stay. What is so urgent that it cant wait? Or so secretive that i cant come? or even know about it?"

He stepped back, pacing the kitchen and tugging at his hair. "Harper please just trust me." He leant against the wall, tears threatening to fall.

"When will you come home matty?"

"I dont have a home Harper. We both know that."

"Thats bullshit. Your just scared but please matty...just talk to me."

"I cant." He sighed. "Look, i love you Harper..." I didnt let him finish, i was too upset.

"Thats bullshit and you, matthew, know it. You dont know me, you cant love me!"

He flinched at my words and the fact i called him by his full name. We both knew that he knew me more then well enough and i knew that he loved me. I softened my expresion, feeling bad for the saddnes that filled his eyes. "Harps, i love you. I do. You make me happy. You make me want more time. Leaving you is the hardest thing i will ever have to do...But i will be back."

I was in tears, folding my knees under my chin and watching him. "When? When will you be back?"

"A few weeks...two months at the most."

I felt a weight lift off my shoulders. I could handle that. "Matty." I smiled, "I thought you were going forever!" I whiped my face and almost laughed at how ready i was to cry for the rest of my life. But despite my smile, his expresion didnt change.

"I should go. Harry will be waiting for me."

I nodded my understanding, hopping off the bench and jumping into his arms. We walked out of the house and Matty turned to me. "I will come home oneday."

"One day?" I laughed, messing his hair. "A few weeks." I corrected and he flinched ever so slightly. 

"I love you harper. Goodbye." He kissed me, deep and passionate but breif and soon he was walking around the back of the house and hopping into Harry's waiting car. He looked back and smiled sadly before closing the door and dissapearing into the sunrise.