Time to get out

Goodbye Steph

Steph's POV

Luke left me a note, and with every swirl of the black ink on the ripped peice of paper, my heart broke a little more. His messy scrawl curled along the paper, taking up the whole back of a map he found. It was left on his pillow, the one next to mine where his head should be. I sat up in bed and read it. It was hard to read, the ink leaking in parts from tears that had splashed there but i still maneged, although i wish i couldnt.

Stephanie,

I love you.

But i am letting you go. I am setting you free. I wrote about 17 of these letters but they just fucked up completely and i burned them, a small part of me wishing i could burn with them. I would rather die then say what I'm about to say. Telling you in person wasnt an option, you know how shit we both are at feelings. So i have written it down, knowing it will make more sense this way. So here goes:

Steph. I have to go far away. The boys are coming with me so i wont be alone although without you i may as well be. I cant tell you where i am going, or when i am coming back...but you just have to be ok. Its hard but you have to.

I suggest that you forget about me. Hate me, curse my name and banish every thought of me, and then forget me. That, i think, will be the easiest way to move on. I give you permission to move on. To fall in love with a guy who deserves you. Make sure he knows how lucky he is. Make sure he never fucks up. And make sure he is nothing like me.

I know for a fact that i wont forget you. Even when we are apart for a few hours i look for you in every person i talk to, but i know no one even begins to compare. I will never forget your brown eyes, or soft hair. Your lips that spread into the most beautiful smile. I wont forget the way you talk, your accent making everything you say sound so passionate. I wont forget your laugh and the way it gives me butterflies just listening to it. I wont forget the plans we made together, the dreams we had. And even if you dont need them anymore, they will always be ours. I will never forget the memories we made Stephy. I will never forget anything.

Steph please live the life you have always wanted, the one you told me about and dont wait for me to come home. You will always be in my heart and on my mind and i promise to never forget you

goodbye my beautiful girl

love Luke

With that, i fell. My heart stopped, my breathing stopped and i rolled under the covers and tried to cry, unsuccessfully. So i lay there, while my world fell apart and i could do nothing but let it happen.

He was gone. gone. gone.

My person, my Luke...gone