Love?

Find someone who deserves love

Charlotte's POV

I'm still in hospital and it's been 2 days since I've seen Kyle, 2 days since he told me he loved me. What was I going to do; I don't know if I love him, he's my teacher these thoughts whizzed around my head. The doctor said I would be able to go home today when my Dad came; he has been here every day since I arrived. Most days it's just silence and others he puts on the concerned father act. It's hard to believe that anyone believes him but they do. Dad arrived not long after 3 and I was now snuggled into my own bed trying to get some sleep before school the next morning. As I was falling to sleep my door opened 'Hey Kiddo, you awake'

'Yea I am Dad' I moved slightly so he was able to sit on my bed. 

His eyes looked around the room as if he was trying to memorise every detail 'I'm sorry Charlotte, Jordan's funeral was while you were at the hospital. We already buried him yesterday before I came to see you. I know you would've wanted to be there but it had to be done' I stared at my father shocked. How could he? I never got to say goodbye to the one family I have who actually cared for me. 

'How could you! You know what Jordy meant to me, my brother, my only friend and the only one who gave a dam about me when Mom left. He got me ready for school each day and took care of me when school was done, helped me with homework and was more a father to me then you have ever been' I was yelling at him, my blood boiling in my veins and before I could control myself I raised my hand and slapped him. Shit what had I done, his face remained neutral as if it hadn't affected him at all. I moved to the far corner of my bed as far as I could get from him. 

His faced turned to anger, he turned to me his fist raised. *Smack His fist collided with my jaw and I was knocked un-conscientious. Standing up to him was a bad idea.

The following morning

*beep x5

My head was thumping, why does school have to start so early? Getting out of bed I changed into my black jeans and I went to Jordan's room to wear one of his hoodies. I haven't been in here since he died but I knew that the scent of him would be able to get me through today. Twisting the handle I opened the door, his stuff had been packed in boxes some reading 'for sale' and others 'Donate'. How could my father do this? He has only been gone 2 weeks and I feel like he's being erased from my life completely. Grabbing my favourite hoodie from a box marked donate (a Plain black one with our last name on the back in white block letters). I gave him this when I was 10 for his 13th  birthday; he loved it and wore it whenever opportunity rose to wear it.

Once wearing it I felt like Jordy was with me, the hoodie still holding onto his scent. It was slightly baggy on me as I'm a lot smaller than he was, leaving the room I left one last whisper 'Sleep tight Jordy'. Closing the door I went to the kitchen to get breakfast. Yes I have been eating breakfast, after finishing I walked to my room grabbed my bag and walked out the house to my car. 

I had a feeling I had forgotten to do something but left alone and drove to school. Getting out of my car I pulled my hood over my head and walked to my locker. After my locker I went to my usual place and sat peacefully minding my own business. As people started arriving I heard their whispers a they passed 'Is that the girl who tried killing herself in the bathroom?'. Their voices may have been hushed by I can still hear them. 

A group of girls even came up to me 'OMG you're the girl that tried killing herself in the bathroom aren't you' ignoring her statement I stayed quiet 'Hey mute, what you did really effected Tani. She found you there on the floor in the pool of blood, why don't you consider the side effects of your actions upon others before you ruin someone else's life. You should die, the world won't miss you' she walked away giggling.