𝐎𝐥𝐝-𝐅𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐝 | 𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚍𝚣𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚘.

𝐬𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐩𝐭. 𝐭𝐰𝐨 | "𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚔𝚜 𝚝𝚘 𝚖𝚢 𝚏𝚊𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛."

𝐎𝐊𝐀𝐘 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑 𝐌𝐄 𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐇𝐀𝐒 𝐆𝐎𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐍 1𝐊 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐒 𝐎𝐇 𝐌𝐘 𝐆𝐎𝐃 𝐈 𝐍𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐆𝐇𝐓 𝐏𝐄𝐎𝐏𝐋𝐄 𝐖𝐎𝐔𝐋𝐃 𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐔𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐘 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐓 𝐒𝐊𝐒𝐊𝐒𝐊𝐒𝐊𝐒𝐊𝐒 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐨𝐤𝐚𝐲 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐑𝐘 𝐈 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒

Joe.

"Where are you taking me?!"

"Somewhere that you're safe! Somewhere that he can't find you—"

"Give back my phone, Mary!"

"No!"

"I haven't seen you in what— ten years?! And you're gonna blow my life acting like you really care about me all along?!"

My sister went silent and kept her eyes on the road.

I should not have said that because I know she's just protective of me but I couldn't help it, for the first time in ten years that I'm all by myself— Ben made me the happiest person. He made me love things around me even they're just small and nonsense. He made me appreciate every love that sorround me and that I should forget the past because we can't change it.

But now everything is a fucking mess— all thanks to my father.

Long story short, he saw me and Ben around and I don't know what the fuck is he doing in Hyde Park and why in the hell he still cares about me being gay because last time I've checked, I'm not his son anymore. So why does it bother him so much that I'm holding hands with another man?

Well it shouldn't really matter to me because fuck you "dad" you're not my "dad" but things got worse and this is where my sister had to come out.

She said one day he came downtown, on their house (because couple of years ago, mom sued him for physical abuse) asking for his cane of a gun, in a raging mad manner and threatened sister that if they won't give it to him, he will burn mom alive.

They had to give it to him but when Mary asked what would he do to it he said he's gonna shoot the faggots in the head. At that point she has no idea who is he referring to but she said when she saw my Instagram post mentioning Ben— everything became clear and she panicked.

One week after the incident, they still have no idea where he could've been. Maybe he's looking out for me so he could shoot me on the most perfect time. Oh, that's fine with me if that would make him stop pestering my siblings and mom but it did not cross my mind that he will shoot Ben too right away. That's where I started panicking.

He's a psychopath and an addict and the worst person to ever exist.

And I hope you're getting my point why I can't tell the boys about this especially Ben. I don't want him to worry about me. But I could've told him tonight if Mary didn't drag me from the streets and into her car.

"Mary, I need to have my phone back so I can call Ben and my friends!" I begged, gripping on her shoulder because she insisted I take the back seat.

"Later, I promise. I just need you to be quiet back there. We're picking mom in the house and if in case he's there— for God's sake keep your mouth shut and pretend you're not in the car. Then we'll leave this place. We'll leave New York and we'll fly to Burbank with John."

My eyes widened in realization of all she just said. "We'll what?!"

"Shut up! We're almost home."

I want to cry right now. I am so scared and concerned and frightened and sick worried about everything. I did not mean to cause harm when I accepted myself. All I wanted was for my father to accept me for who I am and if he can't that's fine.

First he took my mom and siblings from me. He cut all communications they could find so they can reach out to me all these years. I knew he hurted mom when he found she's been supporting me in the earlier years of me being alone but I didn't know that he would hurt Mary and John whenever they attempt to run away from home. It came to that point where Mom has to sue him for domestic abuse.

The restraining order had just expired when the incident with the gun happened so they couldn't do anything but to give it up. They have filed for another one and it was approved— longer this time so Mary took the opportunity to take me out of  Hyde Park cause she thinks "dad" knows where I live.

For fuck's sake, I don't want to risk any of my friend's life so I had to obey Mary.

But what about Ben, he's surely waiting for me in the river. He must've think that I ghosted him so are my friends and that is the realization that I can never be happy.

My loving father was right. I can never be fucking happy. He's a total man of his words.

The car ride back home was deafening quiet. I had to lay down at the back seat and play dead until we reach our old house. I don't think I could face my mom after everything she's been through.

"It was all my fault. It was all my fucking fault." I muttered as I begin my small sobs.

"No, it's not. Never blame yourself." I heard Mary whisper, I titled my head up to see that she's crying while her hands are gripping onto the steering wheel tightly.

"Mary.."

"You've been so brave and we're not. We could've easily file a case against him so you could move back home and be could've have been arrested but we didn't. We were so scared of what he could do to you and us, we're so sorry. I should've have been the person to protect you. You're my little brother and yet I chose to protect mysel—"

"Shush, shush." I attacked my sister with a hug as she continue driving while tears kept streaming down her face. "Stop crying, you're still ugly when you do after a decade." It made her chuckle.

I tried so hard to keep my chill even though our lives are at risk and in danger. I don't want to overthink. I'm sure Lucy could've had explained what's happening to the guys but now they could all be panicking and thinking my father took me while I am on my way to see the love of my life.

"Mary?"

"Hmm?"

"When we get to wherever we need to go, promise me I could get my phone back. I need to let him know I'm okay."

I could see her smile from the rearview mirror. "I promise, I could also ask John a favor to take him and your friends too so we can all be safe in his place."

"Wait, what is John's career actually?"

"He's in the military."

𝐇𝐞𝐡𝐞.