One Last Time

Chapter 15

broken girls
blossom into warriors

- unknown

***

Lana

It was five minutes to twelve when there was a knock on the door that startled me. Right now, I was preparing food for tomorrow as it was Christmas. It was a very hectic day for me as not only was I preparing for Christmas but I was also preparing for Amelia's fifth birthday which was also tomorrow.

I can't put it into words of how overwhelmed I am to get my head around the fact that my daughter will be five tomorrow. These past five years were the best years of my life and I would never change it for the world. When Amelia was born, I fell through a downward spiral of darkness because I thought I was incapable of doing something so significant on my own, in fact I thought I was not going to survive but when she arrived, it was the best feeling ever. It was as if at that very moment, I believed that anything was possible.

I thought I needed Ivan to help me raise a beautiful girl just like Amelia but I was wrong. I've managed it for five years and would be able manage it for the rest of my life.

I blink away the overwhelming tears of joy and leave the sink to answer the door while I wonder who it could be this late at night.

I opened the door to see Ivan standing in front of me while he held a bag with one of his hands and the other was buried in his pocket. I scan my eyes over him and notice that he was still in his work attire. I hadn't seen Ivan for a few days now and ever since Stephan left, Ivan has been visiting only to see Amelia occasionally. This was close enough to co-parenting but I was afraid to tell dad and the rest of the family because I did not want them to know that Ivan was back... back.

He wasn't technically back, what I mean is that I don't want them to find out just yet that I'm providing Ivan the privileged to have the opportunity to be in Amelia's life because I remember both dad and Mason strictly advising me not to allow him back into our lives, especially not Amelia's.

Since he only visits because of Amelia, I began to question why he was here this late at night?

"Ivan, it's midnight... Amelia is asleep."

"I-I know... I wanted to give you this... well Amelia." He handed me the few bags he held and smiled softly.

I looked up at him as confusion filled my face,
"What is this?"

"It's Christmas tomorrow Lana and it's her birthday."

My jaw dropped as I stare at him; how did he know? I really don't remember telling him at all because I really don't talk to Ivan like that. As it's very obvious, he only visits to see Amelia despite the fact that we shared another kiss at his place the night Stephan left.

"How...?" I begin to question as I move away from the door to let him in,

"I did a little snooping around while I was in her room. I saw it on one of the frames of the photo of you holding her as she was a baby and her birth date as well as her name was etched onto the wooden frame." He smiled, "It's a beautiful picture."

My heart quivered as I look away from his eyes; they were filled with joy but I definitely couldn't reciprocate because I went through hell just to have Amelia. That picture was just a second of my life that was captured but it didn't really show what happened the days following. I was honestly crippling apart and to even reminisce about it now just provoked my emotional anxiety and pain.