One Last Time

Chapter 28

fight for those
who keep you,
even on your
worst days.

- Perry poetry

Lana

It was never the case of embarrassment or shame that I thought I would face, but it was more what would people say?

Why would people say anything anyway? In fact, why should they know?

Experiencing a sheer amount of discomfort, I stir on the cozy bed. Thoughts crossed my mind the second I awoke. Silence comforted me as I breath steadily, relaxing against the comforter. I contemplate, daring myself to glance over or just turn over to see him. After much unnecessary consideration, eventually, I slowly turn over and begin to settle back on the bed, with a beautiful sight in front of me.

He was sleeping soundly, like he had never. His facial features were relaxed, in peace and definitely in content. His sharp nose twitched for a second and his long set of light brown eyelashes flared out. I clench my fists under the duvet as I watch him in his sleep, this moment felt like pure bliss and suddenly, all the rush of guilt and self-consciousness had dissipated.

The fact that we've had sex had not yet crossed my mind yet. It was real but then again, felt unreal.

I just wanted to touch him, feel him under my skin without having anything else on my mind. If I could, I would relive only one day of our lives in the last, before anything happened. It's unfortunate that things are the way that they are all because of one silly misunderstanding.

It was as if Ivan had sensed me when his eyes opened, instantly I felt my body freeze on the bed. I had no idea if he was still sleep because his eyes were emotionless, plain and bored. They were so tired that I thought they were going to roll back once again and fall back to sleep.

"Good morning." He mumbled before he reached for me and engulfed my body into his warm embrace.

Firstly, I felt my body slowly rejecting this type of affection, especially from him because this felt foreign but as seconds passes by, I ease to his touch. I thought about how this wasn't bad, it wasn't supposed to be bad. We have come this far, why do I need to think about it anymore?

His heart pumped against my naked skin and it was the best feeling ever, knowing how much of an effect I had on him. What made this more comfortable was his strong cologne, I welcomed it into my lungs, appreciating it because it was something I usually do not get to take in. I feel his soft fingers caressing my back slowly, up and down and it made my eye lids droopy before I inhale and draw his attention.

"Ivan?" I mumble,

"Hmm."

"Can we talk? Please."

Ivan stopped caressing my back and froze before he released me from his embrace. I pull away and glance up at him and caught him watching me, his eyes were no longer clouded with fatigue as I had his full undivided attention.

"About what?"

"Last night."

Even though last night happened, I still wanted to talk about it with him like adults because the last time we didn't talk like adults, everything went down hill. I bite my lip and watch him as he blinks at me and gulps.

"Do you regret it?" He asks, and I thought I sensed a reaction of disappointment, it seemed as though he was anticipating my rejection but I just didn't say exactly that.