Its All Fate.

(11) I'm home.

*Levi's POV*
We arrived at Carol and John's.
Its like we're back to a time without Sarah, only now its with hurt and pain.
I went straight to the guest room, the room where me and Sarah stayed in whenever we had sleepovers.
I used to always express my love to this room. It has gray walls and the bed has all shades of blue on it. Of course Carol being her own unique self she threw a ton of throw pillows on the bed. It's such a simple room but it's so beautiful.
Whenever Sarah was in it, the room just seemed to be more beautiful and brighter than it usually is.
Now, it just looks...gloomy. I throw myself on the bed imagining that Sarah's right there beside me as I drift off to sleep.

*Carol's POV*
As soon as we arrived, Levi dragged himself to the guest room and closed the door right behind him.
I go to the kitchen to make dinner to find John standing there sighing heavily.
"Is everything okay?" I asked worried.
"Nothing it just seems like everything's just changed forever," he said with such a sad look on his face that I've never seen before on him.
"Oh John," I said pulling him into a tight, comforting hug.
We hug for a long time, way more time that we should.
"Okay I should probably start dinner now," I said breaking our hug.
"How does Alfredo Fettuccini sound to you?" I ask as he was on his way out.
"Sounds great," he yells.

I just finished setting up the table and I realized that Levi's missing. He hasn't came down since we arrived and it's been a couple of hours now.
"Levi," I yell loud enough that I know would reach the room.
No answer.
"Levi," I yell again this time I reach for the stairs.
Still no answer.
I swear to god if he did anything to himself, that would be it for me.
I open the door causing a loud bang and started looking around the room.
I sighed with relief when I realized that he was just asleep hugging a pillow. Sarah's pillow.

"C'mon Levi, dinner's ready," I said shaking him lightly.
"Dont want," he said in an almost there voice.
"No, you need to eat!" I said pulling his leg a little.
After about what seems like forever he agreed and we made our way to the dining room.
"Finally, I was about to eat alone," said John sarcastically.

We ate in almost complete silence. Just the sounds of the forks and knives on the plates.
Levi just played with his food. Literally ate two bites. We tried to tell him to eat more but he just dismissed us and went to his room.
I'm starting to feel like a mom with such a stubborn child but I am not. I'm a friend with a grieving friend.

After I finished the dishes, I went to check on Levi a bit.
"How you doing buddy?" I asked lightly as I entered the room.
"Fine," he said never removing his eyes from the book.
"Levi, I know you're sad and everything but you know Sarah wouldn't like it like that," I said trying to cheer him up.
"How dare you say something like that to me? Are you like crazy or something? My girlfriend died, the woman I love the most and the one I wanted to complete my life with her is gone. I won't be able to hug her, kiss her or even see her anymore! You don't even know how that feels. How it hurts and stings. Can you even put yourself in my shoes before coming in here and telling me that I should be happy because 'she wouldn't like it'. So can you please stop sympathizing me and cheering me up and just let me be alone and let me grieve, okay!" he finished this out of breath and I just stood there in silence. I just looked at him and got put pulling the door behind me.
I didn't know how should I feel about this. Should I be angry that I just got yelled at? Or should I just be sad because he's hurting and I can't do anything to help? I'm confused but mostly I am sad.
"Oh Sarah, you don't know how much I need you right now," I said plopping myself on my bed and before I even realized it, I was in deep,deep sleep.

*Levi's POV*
Why do people want me to move on?
How do they expect me to?
The love of my life just died a week ago, I think, I lost track of time and a lot of other things since then.
God, I miss her so much.
Everyday is becoming worse and worse for me.
It's not getting better at all and I can't do anything to help her.
One day I wake up saying that I should be happy that she was relieved from her pain and the next day I am waking up crying and hoping that she's lying here right next to me and this was all a terrible nightmare.
I decided that I needed to go back home, I needed to be with Sarah.
I started searching for John when I finally found him.
"Can you please give me a ride to my house?" I said.
"Why?" he asked I don't quite know if he was worried or just curious.
"Because I want you, Can you?" I said impatient.
"Okay okay cmon," he said and we made our way to the car.

"Does Carol know that you're leaving?" he asked.
"yes," I said, obviously lying.
He just nods. I know he knows I am lying but its too late anyway for any kind of confrontation.
We finally arrive at my house. I say a quick thank you to John for the ride and take two steps at a time to my place.
"Hey babe. I'm home!" I shouted as I entered the house.
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