High On Life

23: Fate Revealed

I scrutinized the paper externally and it was a light pink shade. I inhaled deeply in fear when that very familiar and pungent smell reached my nostrils. My heart now pounded harder as I absorbed in the sight in front of me. It was....it was a paper from my diary. And one of the most recent ones.

And it all flashed back to me. I remember sitting in the campus grounds writing my diary yesterday when a few recent pages had started tearing out the bundle because of the thickness of my diary. It must've.....fallen out.

I looked at the paper and shifted my gaze into his eyes to reveal a painful expression on his face. But which paper was it?

Before I could open my mouth to say anything, he spoke. "Looks familiar?"

His grip on my wrist tightened even more as he took a step towards me, closing the distance between us. My breathing became difficult and I coughed. I was on the verge of tears, when he almost lunged the paper into my face.

I jumped up, startled, hitting the wall behind me as a result. I wish I knew what paper it was. My fear just kept building up inside me and I felt I'd puke any second now.

Yeh konsa paper tha meri diary se, jiss mein humaare beech jo bhi hai, uss sab ka faisla hoga?

I gulped, slowly lifted my hand upto the paper and took it from him. I moved the hand which was held firmly in his wrist in order to release it so I could open up the paper. He does as gestured and lets go but continues to stand in front of me, as he supported himself with his arm against the wall.

I opened the paper with shivering hands and read through. My eyes widened as I saw that one entry I wrote from......yesterday.

Dear Diary,

Dil tord diya meine Harry ka uss aik inssan ke peeche bhaag ke jis ne mera khud ka dil torda.

That one guy whom I've tried chasing after, all my life and am finally giving up today. That one heartless guy who's caused me too much pain, that he just never realized. It'll never be easy for me to let go of him, but I'll try.

Try to let go of him. He's hurt me, scarred me in every way, mentally, and worse, physically. But how would he know? He's never even fallen in love to know how much it hurts to love a beast. How much it hurts to love someone who doesn't love a single bit of you.

Jo apni feelings ko hi nahi samajh paaya, woh meri kia samjhay.....Aur jis ke dil mein meray liye koi jaga nahi, meray bhi ab iss toote dil mein uss ke liye koi jaga nahi hai.

I could feel my heart break into a million more pieces as I realized he had read this diary entry. I prayed deep down that he doesn't understand that all this hate was meant for him, although it was for the truest reasons. My eyes welled up as I slowly lifted them to meet his.

He was taking heavy breaths as his eyes now, for the very first time, portrayed pain. I just contained myself as I was about to leave the room, he pulled me back aggressively by my wrist and I land back in front of his face.

I just looked away from his intense gaze.

"This...this beast. This heartless asshole who broke your heart himself had no emotions of his own right? He...just saw that one girl he ever loved, walk away with someone else right in front of his own eyes. This one guy just......never fell in love." He spoke with pain in his tone. Each word stabbed me more in my heart. He...he loved me. Me? Me.......

"Until that one second he finally did, he realized that he did.......the biggest mistake of his life !!!" He seethed, clenching his jaw as his hands turned into fists.