High On Life

58: Losing It

"Papa !!! Papaaa pleaase !!!" I shook his shoulders as my tears rapidly fell on his dead body.

I shifted my shivering hands to his face. "Papa kiyun de rahay hain mujhe yeh saza !! Kiyun ?!!!" I screamed having absolutely no control over myself.

I kept shaking him, my heartbeats racing up with every passing second.

"Papaaa !!!" I screamed loud enough, feeling my heart break apart in a billion pieces.

I bawled over him, crying, screaming, yelling, but he...never woke up.

"Doctor ! Please do something. Please do something ! Wake him up ! Please !!" I screamed clasping my hands in front of him, begging.

"Nida please. Calm down..." He spoke but I cut him off.

"Calm down ?!!! My life is over ! And you're asking me to calm down ?! Khud to bacha nahi sakay unhein, and you're fuckin telling me to calm down ?!!" I grabbed him by the collar and screamed in his face.

The two nurses grabbed me and pulled me away from him as I cried badly, madly. There was no escape. I was trapped in the hell which just unleashed on me.

The nurses took me out the room and there, I saw him. His face. My father's murderer....

Shehry's POV:

It had been a few minutes since she was away so I got off my seat and the minute I reached her door, I saw her....

She glanced towards me with her bloodshot eyes and let her arms out of the grip of two nurses who walked away.

"Marr gaye. Marr gaye woh Shehryaar. Marr gaya mera baappp !!!! Tumhaari waja se !!!!" She screamed her heart out at me and I just stood there, stunned, frozen.

It felt as if in that one moment, my heart had stopped.

She sprinted in front of me and breathed heavily, peering directly into my eyes, as tears fell wildly from hers.

"Kia dushmani thi tumhaari meray baap se ?!! Bolo, kia dushmani thi !!" She grabbed my collar and continued screaming as if, as if she had lost her senses.

"Maar diya hai tumne unhein Shehryaar ! You fuckin' killed him !" She tugged wildly on my collar, shaking me, but I was helpless. I had...no answer.

Tears escaped her blood red eyes as she panted heavily. "Tum ne kaha tha na, meray liye jaan bhi de do ge. Aaj....Aaj tum ne meri hi jaan le li. Meray hi shareer se. Jaan le li hai meri tumne !!!! You fuckin' murderer !! Meray baap ko to maar hi diya, lekin aaj....aaj mujhe bhi maar diya tumne !!" She screamed, jerking me off her grip.

She reached her hand out to a guy nearby who had a cigarette in his mouth and was about to light it up when she snatched the lighter from his hand and held it up to my face.

"Take this ! Take this Shehryaar !! Maa meri waise hi marr gayi, baap ko to tumne maar diya, yeh lo, mein reh gayi hoon na Rizwan khandan se, mujhe bhi khatam kardo. Pakro isse !!" She breathed heavily and I just stood there in a trauma.

"Jalaa do mujhe ! Mera kuch bachna nahi chahiye ! Mein yeh zindagi aur nahi jee sakti, apne baap ke qaatil ke saath ! Pakro! Fuckin' take this and burn me to ashes !!!" She shoved the lighter in my chest, pushing me back a little.

I couldn't. I couldn't do anything. No fuckin' thing about it. I was in no position to say a word to her.

"Ni.." I was about to say something when she cut me off with her rage again.

"Theek hai. Nahi jalaana chahtay na. Yeh lo, I'll do it myself !!!" She yelled into my face, tears streaming down her eyes and before I could even react she turned the lighter on and ignited her sleeve with it.