A Certain Kind Of Hatred { Hyungwonho }

Part 9- Hidden Truths

Hyungwon closed his locker the next morning with a pathetic excuse for a sigh, feeling his eyes start to coax shut, but he kept them open, despite wanting nothing more then to fall asleep then and there. He hadn't slept all night, even after Wonho had to leave. And his eyes still hurt from the multitude of tears they had shed, which he made sure to save for after the older had reluctantly left.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Kihyun asked gently placing a hand on his shoulder, his brow furrowing into an expression of worry. "You can go home if you need to, I'll tell the teachers you weren't feeling well."

Hyungwon shook his head back and forth sudden and quickly, like he had to use a burst of energy to even do the slightest movements, he tried to give a small smile but failed. He knew he had worried his friend, and felt bad for having a moment of weakness and keeping him up half the night crying over the phone. "No, I don't want my brother to worry."

"I'm scared for you Hyungwon, I've never seen you like this before." Kihyun stated.

"I know, I'm sorry. But even if I went home I cant sleep anyways, I'll just keep thinking of him." The taller put a hand over his eyes to shadow them from the world around him. He didn't wanna cry anymore, he really didn't, he wasn't one to cry much normally, and the fact that he was starting again made him feel even worse. He suddenly pushed through the hall ducking into the empty locker room.

He knew Kihyun was following him and didn't even have to turn back around to know his friend was there.

"Wh-Why does it hurt so bad...? I don't understand." Hyungwon asked sucking in a breath, causing his nose to also sniffle a little. "He's just a guy. We're in high-school it's not like I'll be alone all my life just because he doesn't love me back-" he bit his lip to hold in a sob at the statement, causing a sharp pain to go through it, but at the moment he didn't care.

"You said it yourself," Kihyun stated his expression looking solemn as he watched his friend desperately try to keep himself together. "You aren't one to fall in love easily..."

"Yeah." Hyungwon chuckled a bit, but didn't at all actually seem amused. He then threw his hand in the air slightly, swallowing a lump in his throat. "But that's not just it..." he shook his head back and forth shamefully. "All my life I thought there was something wrong with me because I never felt romantically attracted to anyone, ever. I would see guys and think they're charming or good looking, but I never felt that kind of connection with someone, no matter how much I wanted to. But then all this happened with Wonho and not only did I actually feel like I loved him, but he made me feel... alive, like there wasn't something wrong with me and like I finally had someone, but I don't..." he fell back on the wall covering his whole face now as he finally let out a few more tears, and small hiccups. "I don't have him..."

"Hyungwon..." Kihyun moved over to him, rubbing his shoulder in comfort. His heart hurt for him, and he almost wanted to cry with him. "Everything will be okay."

"Hyungwon?" They looked over to see Jooheon and Changkyun had also joined them in the room. "Are you okay?"

Hyungwon wanted to say yes, but he couldn't so he simply answered, "I don't know..."

"Kihyun told us what happened last night." Jooheon walked over to him before automatically engulfing him into a hug. "It's okay, we're here for you."

"Yeah." Changkyun joined the hug, also wanting to comfort him. "You'll always have us to talk to."

Hyungwon couldn't help but smile a little, hugging them back. "Thanks guys."

"We love you Hyungwon." Jooheon stated, not seeming to let go.