I read Angel's text message and rolled my eyes. She's been trying to get me to tell my family that we are in a relationship for almost a month now.
Me: now is not a good time Angel. My dad is about to have surgery.
I turned my notifications off and laid my head back, looking up at the ceiling. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. I'm the youngest and seem like I have way less going on compared to my brother and sister, but deep down, I'm drowning.
School is becoming mentally exhausting and since my "friends" found out about me and Angel, they've been distant. Now all I can think about is if my family will do the same.
I feel like the black sheep in the family. Kari and KJ have so much going on, no one pays attention to me. I walk in the room and no one even acknowledges me. Ever.
No one knows I have depression. They don't even notice the scars.
Everyday is a mental battle for me. My mind constantly fighting harsh words. "No one cares about you, you don't matter, you're ugly Safarii, you will never amount to anything".
Most days I just fall asleep to stop the cruel thoughts from seeping into my mind. Sometimes I think I need to be on antidepressants, other times I try to convince myself it's in my mind. Either way, my family will never notice.
That's how I fell for Angel. She was always there for me. She was and is the only person to notice the cuts on my arms. I would call her when I felt suicidal and instead of judging, she would run over to my house, no matter the time, and hold me until I cried myself to sleep.
I smiled thinking about Angel's petite frame and thick, plump lips made specially for me.
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MyAngel😇😍: I'm sorry for seeming pushy.. u kno I didn't mean it like dat. I just want to be able to love you fully and with dat.. we need to be honest about ourselves..
MyAngel: and ur dad is going to be ok baby😘 don't stress, I love you and I'm praying for y'all. I hate I can't be there but this is 1 of the reasons y we need to be honest to ur ppl.
A lone tear dropped down my cheek. I looked around to see if anyone noticed, but as usual, nope. Everyone was too into consoling each other. Once again, I was out of the equation. I exhaled a breath and texted back the only person who's truly been there for me.
Me: Can we tell them together?
MyAngel😇😍: of course baby
Me: but only once my dad starts feeling well..
MyAngel😇😍: Ok.♥️ dats fair
I smiled and sat my phone down. I looked back over to my family and seen KJ who's been distant the whole time, with his AirPods in. I tried to read his expression, he looked a mixture of sad and mad. I figured it was because of NeNe. I heard about what happened at the party too but I knew my brother would never rape anyone. My thoughts were shaken away once I looked over to see two police officers walk through the door.
"Is anyone by the name of Kevin Gaulden Jr. in here?" The fat officer said looking around, of course we were the only ones in the waiting room since this is a private clinic.
KJ sat up in his seat confused "Yeah?"
"So you're KJ?" The officer asked again
"I said yeah motherf—" KJ didn't finish before the office walked over and jerked him onto his feet
"Wait a minute!" Mom yelled
"Kevin Gaulden Jr. you are under arrest for the rape of Kimberly Stevens..."
"What the fuck and how the hell!?" Grandma exploded
