Folktale

Chapter 13

Jacob's P.O.V

I was scared...

I was attacked...

He's the first person I saw...

I was in shock...

I don't even remember seeing you there...

All excuses as to why I saw her in his arms that night. I'm not stupid and I'm also not a dick, I know what Bella went through three nights ago was traumatizing. I get that she got scared and ran into the first pair of arms that she found, but what angers me was that it was his. It had to be fucking him.

I got there before he did. I asked for her before he did and I was told to step back, and just like any other good civilian, I did. I knew she was okay because I could see she was being taken care of from where I stood and Charlie was there, which made me feel better. But then, he got there and he was frantic. Carlisle brought him. Edward was frantically shouting where is she? Where is she? as he tried to get past the cops. It was like he was terrified.

And then she saw him. I don't think I can ever forget the look in her eyes... The way she looked at him... She looked at him and it was suddenly like all that she could see was him. She shouted his name, she ran to him even when Alice tried to prevent her from it. She even pushed Alice away from her. She ran to him as he ran to her and gathered her in his arms. They locked tightly. They were murmuring to each other... It was like witnessing two lovers reuniting. He whispered to her, he kissed her face and hugged her again. And she let him... She liked it.

When she leaned her head against his and a small smile crept up on her face. She liked being in his embrace, she liked his kisses... Until she saw me. For a second, I thought she'd push him away and run to me... But she didn't move. In fact, she held onto him tighter and stayed where she was. It was only then when I couldn't take it anymore and I left.

It's been three days and here we are, in my bedroom, talking about what that hug meant. To Bella, she claims it meant nothing. That she was happy to see a familiar face after what happened. That she was in shock and wasn't fully aware of what was going on. I wanted to believe her, I really did, but something deep inside me told me there was more than she was letting on.

"Bella, is there something going on between you and Edward?"

Bella scoffs. "Really? You think something is going on between us? Jacob, he's my friend and he's someone that needs to be taken care of. That's all."

"I... I don't know don't know I can believe that."

Bella takes my face between her hands. "Jacob, trust me, nothing is going on between me and Edward."

I sigh and look at her in the eye. "Because you love me?"

And there it was. That small moment of hesitation. Someone could have missed it if they were not paying attention, but I was. It took one second, one second for her to think it through and answer with a whispered yes. Normally, the response to an I love you from her is an I you. Does it even make sense? No, it isn't. But it's the small bits of her that I can take that I worship.

So, I take that small part of her I get to have and kiss her. I kiss her and lay her down on my bed, wrapping her legs around my waist. I kiss down to her neck as she turns her head away from me and let's me do all the work. I bury myself in her. I worship her in ways any woman would want to be worshipped. I've loved this woman for the last five years and all for what? For the moment I finally feel her giving herself to me, have her finally look at me and not the ceiling, have her touch me and kiss me like she actually loves me and have the name Edward slip from her lips. We both still as soon as it happens. It all stops there.

She apologized, but she couldn't look at me in the eyes. We got dressed and she leaves. I see her wipe her tears away as she walks out of my room, shutting the door on her way out.

And that is why I wound up by First Beach just after sunset, watching the waves crash against the edge of the beach. The air is cool, the wind blows and the stars are making their appearance.

Seth sits down beside me and watches the waves. He doesn't say anything... He doesn't need to.

"Does it... Does it make me a bad person for wishing she never found him that day?" I asked, looking at the waves. "And maybe if she did... That he would've been dead... Then all of this would have been an episode and things would be like they were before. Bella would be Bella and not this... This stranger that I'm desperately in love with."

Seth sighs. "It's... Understandable to be jealous of someone. You just want things to be back to the way they were before, you want Bella back and for that I understand. Bella might not, but I do."

I look down at my hands. "We were just together... We were together and for a split second I felt like she was actually in love with me. Like we connected. She looked at me and I thought she finally felt something remotely close to what I feel... And then she said his name. And all that time she spent trying to assure me she and him had nothing going went out the window."

"Maybe there is nothing going on. Maybe she's confused."

"I'm not going to waste my time on a maybe, Seth. I love her... but I'm not going to sit back and watch as he takes her away from me."

"And what happens if she chooses him?" 

I don't want to think about it, it hurts too much to just imagine it, but there was a possibility Bella could leave me. And if that happens... if all my fears come true and she chooses him instead of me, what will happen then? 

I look back at the waves and sigh. "I'd let her go..." 

And maybe that's what I need to do. 

I leave Seth in the beach and run back home for my motorcycle. One of my favorite things to do is riding between the reservation and Forks. Back when Bella first came back after her mother died, I drove my motorcycle back and forth, also given that I was a really big kid even at a young age and many people confused me with an actual adult. Of course Charlie likes me and turns a blind eye. And then recently, before Bella found Edward, I finally managed to convince her to ride the motorcycle with me. 

She was terrified at first, clung to my shirt and begged me not to make her, but I got her on, gave her a helmet and started the ride. If she were stronger, she would have crushed my ribs with how tightly she was holding on to me. But as the ride continued and she got used to the feeling, she began to let go and her little scared whimpers became laughter. She was laughing and she was enjoying the feeling of the wind against her. She loved it so much that when we made it to our destination, she hopped off the motorcycle, took our helmets off and kissed me like there was no tomorrow. 

It was a simpler time. 

Now? I'm driving back and all just to let her go... for now. At least until we both have time to think things over. 

But I make it back to Forks and I pass by the ice cream shop where Bella and I had our first date. I stop when I see her. She's sitting at a table... with him. By the look of her red cheeks and her swollen red eyes, I can tell she's been crying and he's consoling her. They're eating ice cream and talking, laughing at each other's jokes. She even throws her head back when she laughs when the ice cream spills on his shirt and helps him wipe it off. He wipes away a tear that escapes her from laughing so hard as she wipes his chin. 

They look at each other, they smile... and that's all I need.

I take my phone out and type a quick text and send it to her before doing the ride of shame back to the reservation. 

I text her:

We need to take a break.

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~Joan0324