Kismet's Perfect Fiasco

Episode 47

Cygny

Ten years.

It's been ten years already.

When I was sixteen, I became a totally and borderline nymphomaniac. I kissed whoever I want. I slept with numerous of guys. I, myself, turned into a monster that I never thought I'll be.

That time, I know, I have to stop. I have to halt the demons on my head. I have to kill them. I have to stop them from lurking on my mind. Because if I don't, they will jeopardize my future. They will completely ruin my closed-to-be-ruined plans.

That time, I told my Mom about my condition. On that very moment, I thought she'll become the mother that I deserve. But, my expectations dragged me down. Sinabi niyang nag-iinarte lang ako. Hindi daw siya gagastos nang malaki para lang sa kaartehan ko.

That was the moment I started to rebel, I started to bring guys on our house. Everyday, iba't iba ang boyfriend ko. It's to inspite her. But instead of being mad, she just challenged me.

Lagi niyang sinasabi sa mga nagiging boyfriend ko ang condition ko. Na naaawa daw siya sa akin. That she was concerned and whatnot. But, it always ending up with her begging them to break up with me. She played the role of the victim. Pinagmukha niya akong masama sa harap nila.

But, everything changed when I met the OPERAE PRETIUM Squad. I met Margot, Magne, Vaeden, Diyes and Marco. Si Marco lang ang kakilala ko sa kanila. Siya iyong Vice President ko dati sa Glee Club. Through him, I managed to enter their Squad.

Sa mga oras na iyon, may kanya-kanyang boyfriend sina Calizta at Razel kaya't walang kaso sa kanila kung sumama ako sa ibang circle of friends. Nagkikita na lang kaming tatlo sa tuwing may meeting ang CSG Officers.

OPERAE PRETIUM stands for the definition worthwhile which is true enough, they were really worthwhile. Through them, nagsimula akong mabuhayan. Nagsimula akong makakita ng liwanag sa nagdidilim ko nang buhay. Nagsimula na akong makakita ng masisilungan sa gitna ng nagbabagang bagyo ng buhay ko.

That time, I smile. A genuine one. Naisip kong baka may pag-asa pa akong magbago? Baka kaya ko pang umayos? Baka may second chance pang naghihintay sa magulo ko nang buhay?

Pero hanggang baka lang pala ang lahat. My hope is just a painful maybe. It seemed like it will always be like that. My life will always be in between the chaotic what if and maybe.

That age, I made the worst mistake of my entire life. That mistake still haunts me until today. That evil mistake is a nightmare to my daydream.

At sixteen, I confessed my feelings to Marco even if I don't really like him. He is just a little brother to me. Pero ginawa ko ang ginawa ko para sa makasariling dahilan. That time, I know that Margot is inlove with Marco. I can see it in her eyes. I can clearly see the same glint that I have with my first love on her.

I am so selfish back then that I don't want Margot to experience the same happiness I once experienced.

Naging kami ni Marco. Pero kahit na naging kami na ay hindi pa rin ako tumigil sa pakikipagtalik sa ibang lalaki. Dumating sa puntong nahuli ako ni Margot. Nahuli niya akong kahalikan ang School Doctor namin. We were about to get in action when she intruded.

That time, I begged for her silence. But she didn't say anything. It fumed me because she may used it as an avenue for her to snatch Marco from me.

Nangyari nga ang inaasahan ko noong mahuli ako ni Marco na hinahalikan si Lucan. That time, I saw him right beside Margot. I felt betrayed back then even if I am the one who had done wrong. It was the day when Marco finally said that we are finally over. And with that, Margot became the receiving end of my anger.