Angst

It's not fair

It's not fair, that push everything involving us on our dad.

It's not fair, that I can't even have my own wedding.

It's not fair, that I can't even disagree with you, without being threatened of being abandoned.

It's not fair, that I can say that you have done nothing else but make my childhood nonexistent, without getting shit on.

I want to meet my friends, besides at school and birthday parties. I want to marry someone I love. I want to be who I am, without getting judged. I want to live in a good house, not a house where the fridge and microwave are broken.

I've tried being grateful. I've tried making it seem as if I'm a bitch that complains over the littlest things. I can't, because deep down, I know it isn't true. I'm not a whiny bitch, I'm just a fatass bitch. A bitch that only her dad truly loves, but fucks up his relationship with his children, constantly.

Why am I like this? Why do I think bad about myself? Just ask my mom. Ask the people who were supposed to play an important role in my life, but failed miserably.

I'm just clay to my family. Someone that they can mold into someone they weren't before.

I hate how they make feel like shit 24/7, but I still love them.

Who am I kidding? I'm just being an overdramatic bitch, again. This isn't new, it happens all the time.