stardust|jw

-5-

-Jackson Wang-

"Jackson, I'm leaving for a few hours. I have a meeting, I'll be back before dinner" she said, her voice holding the same comforting warmth

But I didn't find it comforting right now

I didn't answer back, I just laid down as I would.

It has been 4 months since the accident, and I hadn't ever felt so miserable
I'd been receiving therapy for 3 months now, but I still couldn't walk by myself, I was still the pathetic and pitiful guy laying down on a bed

I hated it, hated that guy, the one that couldn't get up

I sighed. It was unfair to her, should we just end up things here? Should I let her know I'm not willing to keep on going?

At this point, I was even considering leaving GOT7, I was so disappointed on myself, I didn't deserve the amount of support I got from everyone around me, not when I couldn't even catch up with the therapies

My phone rang loudly, distracting me from my daze; I turned to my left and picked it up

"Hello?" I asked, it was an unknown number
"Jackson? Jackson Wang?" A female voice asked at the other side of the line
"Who is this?" I asked, unsure of the identity of the person behind the phone
"It's me, Youngi-ssi! Remember me?" A loud voice asked on the other side of the line. Yeri was a girl who had been with me on a survival reality show, we came to be very close, but haven't been in contact for a long while

"Oh, Youngi-ssi! how are you?" I asked with a small smile, surprised to hear from her
"I'm doing well! It's been a while since we last talked, so I was thinking in visiting, how does that sound?"
"I'm not sure, I'm still unable to-"
"Don't even start with me! I'm coming over in around 30 minutes, okay? I'll bring food!" She said and hang up

If she was going to come wether I was okay with it or not, why even ask? I chuckled lightly, knowing how energetic and stubborn she always was.

As I layed down, waiting for her to arrive, a single thought ran through my mind, and it was

who is gonna open the door?

So i started sitting myself up on the bed, it was less painful than the previous weeks. A small grunt escaped my lips as I started lifting myself from the bed, and, holding onto the bed's headboard, I stood up, by myself, for the first time in 4 months.

I couldn't help the small smile that crept on my face as I, with all my effort started walking out of the room that I had confined myself to., and before I knew it I was very close to the front door that I haven't seen in a while. As I waited, standing, the pain that the pressure of being on my feet made on my back went unnoticed as I took in my sorroundings; there was sunlight, the air on the living room felt slightly less chilly compared to my room and.. while looking around, my mind started floading with images of Sunhi, her crying on the sofa by herself.. her drinking on the sofa alone, till she fell asleep... i knew all this, because from time to time she would loose herself, and would let her cries travel through the house.. it was quite a heartbreaking scenario to think of, it also broke my heart listening to it but i still was selfish enough to let her think that i hated her, because that was probably what she thought by now.

What have i done to my ball of sunshine? A sigh escaped my lips, and as if in cue the door bell beeped, I could see Yeri smiling brightly and waving, the gesture seemed funnier through the security screen, so naturally a chuckle escaped my chapped lips. I slowly made my way to the door, and opened for the very excited friend who was waiting on the other side.

"Jackson-ah! How are you?" she smiled, while taking off her shoes and sliding some slippers on

"I've been better, but could be worse" I said and she chuckled lightly "well, I'm glad you're better now" was her reply. She had broughtsome chicken and beer over, and even though I didn't want to eat, she insisted so much that I even ended up drinking the beer she had brought over. We started chatting, normal and every day chats, nothing related to what have been happening these past few months, which being honest, was a relieve. It made me feel so much better, not thinking about my pain, not having someone look at me with pitty or a sorry expression, it was nice.

"So, how's your girlfriend? I've heard quite a few things going around about her, you know?" she said, taking a sip from her beer

"really? what kind of things?" and she started explaining, how everyone knew how the youngest Samsung CEO  was doing just about everything; shooting for people mag, moving the main office over to korea, Youngi even told me that she was supposed to attend a baseball game with a high class politic that was yet to be revealed. So many things were happening in her life, and I knew nothing about them.. she was so busy yet she took care of me as if she had nothing else to do, and here I was, being an ungrateful piece of trash towards her.

"Honestly, I've been shitm you know?"

"why would you say that, Seun-ah?" she asked with a hint of concern

"I just.. almost never eat what she gives me, haven't been talking to her.. she has even adviced i go over on social medi to make my fans relax a little, yet i've been here sulking.. I've ahd her here with me all along, but have been taking it for granted.. taking her for granted" I sighed heavily, suddenly reminising in everything i've been doing wrong this whole time, i've really been trash..

"at least you know for sure, she loves you deeply.. I don't think she'll leave, from what i've heard, she'll stick around till and after it kills her, so you better start doing things right Seunn-ah, right?" she said while standing up, also holding a hand up so I wouldn't

"I guess you're right" I said "I am, right" she chuckled "I'll be leaving for now, but when you're all healed up, let's hang out, sounds good?" she said with a smile as she picked he rpurse up "sounds good" i smiled back " see ya" she said, and with that, disappeared through the door.

She's right, it is up to me, keep being trash, or start being the only jackson wang I've ever lived as.