We Are the Kids From Yesterday

Tell Me Where We Go From Here

The pill bottle shaking in anxious hands and Gerard could hear it from outside the door. He was knocking the door hard, banging it loudly and screaming. "Mikey, let me in!" he screamed. He was in a state of utter panic, his little brother was trying to kill himself. The kid would rather die than keep going, let things get better. After struggling through something really similar himself, Gerard couldn't let that happen to his kid brother. This was the only thought in his mind as he hit the door loudly, screaming and in angry tears as he kept hitting the bathroom door. "Mikey, open the door! Open the damn door!"

He heard the bottle shaking more but then he heard it drop and Gerard got silent. No, he hadn't... he didn't... but did he? "No! No, Mikey!" he shouted, tears in his eyes. He was only 14, he deserved to live but he couldn't see that. Was he dead?

The door opened. Thank God, Mikey was alive. He had tears streaming down his face and Gerard glanced behind him at the spilled pill bottle behind him. He hugged his brother tight, sobbing now as he squeezed him. "Stay alive, please. I love you Mikey, I fucking love you, I don't want you dead."

Hugging back, Mikey was sobbing now too. "I... I love you too, Gee.... I'm here, I'm alive. I hate seeing you cry."

"If you hate seeing me cry, you wouldn't be trying to lodge a bottle of pills in your throat," Gerard said, angry but just glad he was alive. But he wasn't mad at Mikey for being depressed... more of angry at him for thinking he was alone. Thinking he didn't have his big brother, who would listen to any word he said and dedicate his life to making sure he was okay. But having had almost the same experience, he knew just how it felt. It just sucked he couldn't protect the person he cared about the most from this horrible mindset.

"I'm sorry, Gee," said Mikey, crying into his brother's shoulder. "I--I shouldn't have scared you like that."

"Damn right you shouldn't have!"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Mikey sobbed, hugging his brother tight.

"Don't apologize," said Gerard, rubbing his brother's back as his voice softened. "It's... it's not your fault. Things are bad, things are hard. But don't you dare think you're alone. Never think you have nobody. You will always have me."

You will always have me.

He had meant it then.

But this scared little teenager was still there.

This scared little teenager just wanted his big brother to tell him things would be okay.

But would he?

Party shot up, waking up hyperventilating in a cold sweat. That was a recurring nightmare he had, brought on by the exact memory of the first time Kobra had tried to kill himself. He hated thinking about it, especially now when he thought that it was possible Kobra would be in this situation again, but this time with no one to stop him or let him know he was okay...

"Party?" said Jet, who was awake looking over at him. Party looked around and saw that Ghoul had also stirred a bit from Party just throwing himself up like that and Kobra was still sound asleep. But Jet continued, "Party, you okay? What happened?"

"No-nothing," he said, quietly. "Just had a nightmare. I'll be fine."

"You sure?"

"Jet, I'm fine," he said, his breathing calming. He looked over to the side where Kobra was sleeping, soundly and looking quite peaceful. Was he having the same nightmares, despite his state? Did he worry about Party the way Party worried about him. These were thoughts he couldn't bring himself to ponder as he laid back where Ghoul had opened his eyes for a second before getting back to sleep. This time it was Ghoul who had wrapped around Party and he glanced up at Jet who was watching Party, his worried expression fading into a grin when he saw Ghoul cuddle into him.