We Are the Kids From Yesterday

Without You is How I Disappear

It was so hard for Kobra not to resort back to his old, self-destructive habits. He was always at a constant battle with himself, nights he'd be the only one left awake with his eyes on a blade, trying so hard to fight the urge to grab it and draw blood. Or to take his gun to his head and just end it all. This was Kobra's constant daily battle, but now he was fighting it alone. It had been a few days since Party had gotten shot but the boys had set up a (rather large) tent they had gotten from a nearby convenience store to keep Party's body safe in. Ghoul could stand up in it, but Jet and Kobra had to bend a little. Kobra had sat outside with his back facing the guys, shaking and quietly sobbing as he fought the urge to grab his gun and just shoot himself.

"Hey Kobra? You okay?" said Jet, walking over in Kobra's direction. He went up and put his hands on Kobra's shoulders.

Taking in a painful gulp, Kobra shook his head. "I left things on a really really sour note," he said quietly. "I told you about how mad I was at him..."

"And now you regret it?" said Jet, rubbing Kobra's shoulders. "It'll be okay."

"The last thing I told him was that he was an awful brother," said Kobra, tears streaming down his cheeks. "I said he was an awful person. I shouldn't have said it, he's neither of those things. He's the best brother I could have and he's an incredible, genuine person but I was mad and... and now I may never get to make it up to him... how is he?"

"As of now, he's alive," said Jet. "I keep having to change his wraps, but he's alive. Ghoul is with him now, you wanna go see him?"

Kobra nodded as he followed Jet. Maybe he'd be unconscious, but Kobra needed to see his brother. Jet took him into the tent Party was laying and his face just seemed so... tense when Kobra saw it. His shirt was still off, likely so nothing that could make the wound worse would get into it and it was heavily bandaged. Somehow he kept bleeding right through it and that was what worried Kobra the most. He was so pale, did that mean he'd be dying of blood loss sometime soon from all the bleeding? It was unlikely, but Kobra's paranoid mind jumped all over the place.

Ghoul was on his knees, right next to Party. He was clutching one of his hands with tears streaming down his face. Kobra and Jet, they had never even seen Ghoul cry. They didn't think Party had either so this must have meant that Party really was very important to him. Kobra looked back at Jet who was wiping his own eyes. He was trying so hard to stay strong for Ghoul and Kobra, to not just break down... but Party was his friend too and Kobra knew this was hard for him. Harder than he got credit for.

"You know he was worried about you," said Ghoul when he noticed Kobra. "He'd tell me how even though you guys fought, he was scared. He thought you'd do something to yourself and he wouldn't be able to stop you. He cares about you so much."

"I shouldn't have gotten so mad," muttered Kobra. "I don't want him to... I don't want him to die before I can make it up to him."

"Right before he went off to you..." continued Ghoul. "He... he told me if he didn't make it out alive, he loved me. He said 'I love you,' Kobra. I didn't get to say it back, he just ran to you..... I never got to tell him I love him."

"We both have regrets," murmured Kobra, pushing hair out of Party's pale, comatose face. "I just hope he wakes up."

"You and I both."

In the back, Jet said with a low and quiet voice, "He's in a pretty good condition now. His body just isn't... it isn't strong enough I guess, to bring back consciousness."

"I can't stand seeing him like this," said Ghoul. "And knowing that if he was just a little more careful, he could be in my arms..."

"He saved my life," Kobra whispered, through tears. "I would've gotten hit, but even though I had said... said that complete bullshit, he saved my life."