He placed a bouquet on each grave stone, lightly grazing his fingers along the carved names.
"Today's a nice day, isn't it?" He beamed, sitting between the newly grown patches of grass while picking off unwanted weed that grew by the sides of the stones.
"I wish you guys could see it." He hummed, dusting dirt off of the month older grave with the name Jung Hoseok engraved to the plainly chosen stone.
"I graduated today, are you proud of me?" His small hand gripped a rolled diploma, waving the achievement around the air. "Sucks I didn't get to hear you guys cheer me on when they called my name."
"You could've already graduated last year, Yoongi. But you were too careless about your grades even when I forced you to study." He scolded the grave with the name Min Yoongi engraved to the slightly fancier stone. "I...I never got to see you walk the stage. You too, Hoseok. I was so excited to graduate with the two... the two people that I love. Aren't I suppose to feel happy on this day? Why am I not happy like the rest of the graduates?"
"Namjoon-Hyung and Jin-Hyung insisted on taking me out for a meal to celebrate but I told them I had something important to do. I'm sorry I haven't visited since Yoongi's funeral." His fragile blue eyes hid under his lids when he faced the sun's warm rays. "It was too hard and I knew I'd break down once I saw your graves. For the past month I've been telling myself that you two were just off on a really long vacation with Doori, wished that you're finally enjoying yourselves. Being away from your problems and all.... must be nice."
His eyes once again scanned over the two familiar names, biting the inside of his cheek.
"You guys are so mean. Leaving me with the two doofuses of the group was just heartless." He giggled at his own joke but quickly cupped his mouth when his bottom lip wobbled and a sob continued to shake his whole body. "I-I really miss you two."
"Fuck, this was exactly why I didn't wanna visit." Another forced giggle escaped between his tears before he wiped them away with his graduation gown's silk sleeve.
"The last month of school has been so hard on me." He admitted, pulling his knees under his chin and wrapping his arms around his legs to hug himself. He directed his next words to Hoseok's stone, speaking through cascading tears. "I got so used to you praising me whenever I got a good score on a test or did well on a presentation that when I got a perfect score on my History presentation, I rushed to your class when the bell rang... and you weren't there. Forgot you were on vacation in my head."
Then he turned to Yoongi's stone. "You used to always cuddle me when I would cry or pull me in a tight hug if you sense that my mood was down but I've been crying myself to sleep while hugging my pillow and wishing that you'd come back from your vacation sooner."
"All of them think that I should seek professional help." He scoffed, shaking his head that was now buried between his knees. "But I don't want to go to therapy. It's normal to mourn after my two best friends' deaths. I know they're just scared because I was the closest to you two and I'm the one who found both of you on the days you decided to take your life. They're scared that I'll do something stupid... that I'll do what you did.
"Maybe I should follow you two to end my own pain..." He trailed off, playing with the soft green needles protruding from the soil, before shaking his head and smiling. "But no, I'm not as brave as you. Plus, I could never leave Jungkook and Taehyung by themselves. Who knows what they would get themselves into if at least one of us isn't here to babysit."
"I guess now that you two are... away, it'd be easier for me to admit that I liked both of you." He confessed, playing with his robe's sleeves. "I knew from the start that Yoongi liked you and I was just for show to cover up his real feelings." He directed his words toward Hoseok.
"I have to admit that I was hurt and jealous when I found out about you at first but the more I observed you, the more I fell for your innocence and rarely-displayed smiles. By the time I gave in to the fact that I liked you, Yoongi asked me to be his. Of course I said yes. I liked him too but he's my best friend and I knew he still liked you. It was clear what his intentions were by asking me to be his boyfriend."
"I never said anything to you, Yoongi." He said to the newer grave, voice cracking from the second wave of tears threatening to spill out of his defeated blue orbs. "I never told you that I knew because I knew you'd just lie to me. But as long as you were content, it was fine."
"People in school have been spreading rumors that I'm the reason you two are gone... I wouldn't really call them rumors if I feel like they're true." The boy shed what ever tears he had left. "I wish you were here to tell me that they weren't and that I'm just being overdramatic but you're not and the rumors make fucking sense in my head."
He was convinced that he ruined Yoongi's relationship with the boy.
It was time for him to let them rest in peace. Together.
"I should be going now." He hesitantly stood up, taking his graduation cap in his small hands and placing it between the two stones. "I don't- I don't think I'll be able to visit again any time soon. Today was already too much to take in because from now on I can't tell myself that you're on vacation anymore. Seeing your graves... I-I just hope you two finally found the happiness you deserve."
"I'll be using my studies as a distraction. Please don't hate me for trying to forget." His hands shakily touched each of the names, when the rest of the tears had caught him. "I promise to visit after I graduate from uni. I-I love you guys."
The sunset reflected the prettiest set of autumn colors on the carved names despite it being the end of May. A gentle breeze threaded through the little green patches of grass next to the bouquets of flowers, a reminder that a long summer is around the corner for the visiting boy.
He took one last look at what will be his last memory of his friends before he would start university, silently thanking them for all that they've done, before walking away.
That was the last time Jimin visited Jung Hoseok and Min Yoongi before leaving to focus on his future.
He proudly graduated after four years but never paid a visit to the cemetery when he went back home.
It took another three years before he was able to place two new flowers on the graves.
The End.
=====
A/N: Listen to the lyrics of this song because it coincidentally resembles the way Jimin felt after losing both of his loved ones.
Song: Trying My Best by Anson Seabra
Thank you for reading this book, it means a lot to a small author like me :) Please check out my other books! More Sope books will be published in the near future!
Take care <3
P.S. Don't forget to read the POVs after this.
YOU ARE READING
Oxymoronic Eyes // Sope
FanficA story in which brown eyes are rare. And Hoseok just so happens to take possession of them. ===== This book may contain: •discrimination •bullying •rape •attempted suicide •suicide •violence •major death ===== Highest Rank: #2 yoonseok #2 sope #94...