Smoke || larry

25

The new information about Louis' life haunts Harry. Louis' been avoiding the topic ever since and Harry rarely gets to see him because this week is his exams. Not only is that bad, but Wednesday afternoon he's hit with the terrible realization that Sunday marks the four month anniversary of Gemma's death.

All week he's left with the stress of worrying about Louis and worrying about Sunday. He's been tucking Gemma away, keeping her in the darkest part of his mind. He knows Sunday she'll break free and haunt him. She'll taunt and tease him, her cold tone nothing like how he remembers it.

It scares him how cold she sounds in his head. How mocking and rude she can be. He never understands why it's like that, why he can't imagine her saying nice words to him. All he knows is that her voice scares him and he wants to keep her away for the rest of his life.

When Saturday rolls around he spends it with Liam. The two invite Niall and Harry ends up drinking too much and throwing up, but he misses when the clock strikes twelve and falls asleep before she even has a chance to say a word.

When he wakes up Sunday his mouth tastes bitter and his head pounds at a steady beat. He wants to scream because with each thud of his head her voice carries through.

"You forgot about me. You forgot about me. You forgot about me."

Harry wants to scream and say 'no! I didn't forget!' Because he didn't. How can he forget his sister died? He just tries to hide away his pain, but it always seems to crawl through. He groans on the washroom floor and the door creaks open.

"You need an Advil?" Liam asks. Harry groans and nods his head.

"Pitiful. You're absolutely pitiful," Gemma sneers. Harry covers his ears and tries to block her out. He sings songs in his head and focuses on his fast heart beat. Four months. She's been gone for four months.

Liam opens the door again and hands Harry the Advil and a glass of water. Harry takes everything quietly and when he's done he looks into his friends gentle brown eyes.

"It's been four months," he tells him weakly. Liam swallows and nods his head.

"I know. Have a nap, H," he instructs and then he's leaving the room again. Harry just closes his eyes and all he can see is images of Gemma and then he's seeing her casket and her lips are moving, but no sound is coming out.

It's been four months.

Someone lies down next to him and he peaks open his eyes to see Niall lying down, looking at the ceiling. Harry just moves closer to him and Niall gingerly pats his stomach.

"It's going to be a long day," Niall whispers and Harry jerkily nods in agreement. The movement makes him feel ill and he moves to vomit in the toilet again. There's barely anything in his stomach and all that comes out is bitter bile and water from his cup earlier. Niall gets up with him and rubs his back, not saying a word. Once Harry is done with that he passes out with his face on the toilet and Niall has to flush for him.

When he wakes again he's in a bed and there's a bucket by his head. He can hear Niall and Liam talking in the next room, but doesn't strain his ears to hear them. He wants Louis.

"Louis this and Louis that. What you don't have room in your heart to love me anymore?" Gemma mocks in his head. Harry squeezes his eyes shut.

"Gems, go away," he breathes out. The aching in his head intensifying.

"No! You're the one that keeps me here. It's your own guilt that makes me stay," she tells him.

"I'm not guilty," he shouts.