Smoke || larry

2

Harry wakes up Monday morning. It's the second week of school and he knows it's going to be a bad day.

His heart feels like lead as it beats hard against his chest. It's a slow, strong, painful thump that feels like it could possibly kill him. His eyes burn from unshed tears and his brain hurts from the stresses of his life.

It's only the start of the second week of school and he's already behind on homework. The teachers don't even bother punishing him and instead just give him sad smiles and attempts at telling him they know how he feels. The thing is no one knows how he feels.

It's not like he doubts they've lost someone they love, it's just that he feels differently than them. He feels differently than his mother and his father and all of Gemma's friends. It's different and it hurts. It hurts so much.

So maybe he should've started the project that's due at the end of the week, but he can't because it hurts to move or even breathe. His teachers may say they understand, but they can't possibly understand the feeling of losing someone so close. The feeling of losing your sister and best friend. Or maybe they can, Harry really doesn't know.

All he knows is he refuses to cry anymore. His eyes burn, but no tears escape his green eyes and his lips may quiver, but a sob is not heard.

When he's done his morning routine he finally sees the weather outside. It's grey and there's light rain that falls from the sky, creating a small patter of raindrops. Harry stands in his doorway, watching as the rain hits the small puddles that have gathered and he thinks; isn't it amazing how the world seems to reflect your mood?

It's like the world can tell how he feels. Like it can sense his sadness, therefore it's sad too. Almost like the thought of his pain causes it pain so it opens up and cries. It lets the water pour from it, showing the world how much it's hurting. It opens up and cries because Harry himself can't cry anymore. It's beautiful to him, watching the rain fall down evenly because it's so calming yet you can sense the dreariness. It's like the rain is him.

He slowly walks out to his car, the raindrops falling against his face. He accepts them and let's the rain be his own tears. He does not cry, but he is so close to it. He opens his car door and quickly turns it on. He turns on his windshield wipers and then he's gone. He leaves his cold house, with his now cold parents and hopes that his friends can brighten up his sad, dreary day.

The drive to school is a blur and he doesn't remember stopping at stop signs or red lights. He doesn't even remember turning into the school lot and yet he's parked in his usual spot. He turns off the car and the rain is loud as it pounds against the hood of his car. He listens to it and let's it take him further into his own head.

Once upon a time he was a happy guy. He attended every party, was an active member at school and got great grades. He knows his grades will slip this semester and he knows he's already missed a lot parties in the last month and a half. The school activities that once interested him don't intrigue him anymore and he just wants it all to disappear. He just wants to go back in time and change everything.

There's a small knock on his window and he slowly turns his head to see Niall looking at him. The normally bubbly boy is giving him a concerned look and Harry moves to open his door. He reaches over to grab his bag and then slips out into the cold, rainy morning.

"Hey, you okay?" Niall asks. He's wearing a black rain jacket, but his jeans are completely soaked.

"Fine. I was just thinking about how I have to start that physics project," Harry lies. Niall nods in understanding and the two start to rush towards the school. Niall opens the door for Harry who doesn't even have a jacket.