Depressing Stuff

65

I don't need your judgmental look when you look at my arms. Don't you think I hate myself for doing this to my body? I hate myself for waking up in the mornings. I hate myself for breathing. So I don't want your judgment because there is not a look, not a micro expression that I haven't given myself in the mirror. Not a fiber of my body loves itself. And look I'm not doing this for attention because you are the only person that's noticed, I do this because I hate myself not because I hate the words that come out of your mouth. Trust me you cannot say a hurtful word to me that I have not said to myself. Ugly, fat, waste of space, not worthy of breathing air, not worthy of being alive, not worth it. That is what I am. So don't waste your precious time trying to break me because there is not a part of me that isn't already broken. And to that one nice person, save your breath, don't tell me I need to love myself because at this point it's not worth it. Your words just go right through me because I can't love myself, just like I can't stop myself from it giving myself new scars.