Who am I? *A Mortal Instruments Fanfic*

Coping?

I wake up on my own. 5:45. I don't go back to sleep in fear of more nightmares. Instead I take a shower, washing off the sweat, but not the dream. Fragments of it invade my vision and I try to push it away but it stays. I get dressed and then spar with an imaginary opponent so I can keep my skills fresh. I then flop on my bed and read. I scrawl a note and put it on the bed and walk down to the kitchen.

I wander the halls of the Institute, taking the long way to the kitchen. There, I rummage around and decide I'm not hungry. Footsteps approach the kitchen. I duck behind the counter in fear of Hodge. Its Alec. Humming, he opens the fridge and sees the items moved. "Ari? I'm not Hodge. You can come out." He says, as if he knew I was there the whole time. "Ok. I had to make sure."

I hop onto the countertop. "You want some food?" He asks, as though we've been friends forever. "Alec, why did you hate me?" I abruptly ask. He stops and looks at me. "I thought you were a mundane. I was angry because Jace took an interest in you. I didn't know it was because you were a Shadowhunter. He said you were different. Now I know why. But you seemed like I good person, so I thought I'd give you a chance. Then I saw Izzy like you. Jace likes you. As a friend." He quickly amends.

"Then you had that nightmare. What scared me was the fact I could hear you screaming even though I'm five doors down. I saw how bad it was once I walked in. Izzy and Jace were already there. You were tossing and turning, kicking, screaming. You wouldn't wake up. Jace tried just to say your name. Then he touched your shoulder and you jerked away as though you'd been thrown. Then he grabbed your shoulders and shook you. Only then did you wake up. You had a cold sweat. You sounded like you'd been holding your breath. It really scared me." His eyes become distant as if remembering.

"Anyway, you want food?" He asks. I think for a minute. "No, I'm not hungry." I say. Truthfully, I couldn't bring myself to eat. Then Jace walks in, holding a piece of paper. "I got your note. I was going to wake you up, but I see you're already awake. And you're talking to Alec." Even he couldn't keep the surprise out of his voice. "Yep. Alec decided to give me a chance." I answer, inwardly laughing at his surprise. "How are you feeling?" Jace asks, suddenly full of concern.

"I'm ok. I guess. I couldn't go back to sleep. I didn't want to." I say. There's that look again. Concern, yet something else on Jace's face, I just don't know what it is. "Are you sure you want to go to school?" Izzy asks as she walks into the room. "You stole my question." Jace glowers. It wasn't anger, it was more a teasing thing. "I'm sure. I have a lot to do. I can't miss school. It'll get my mind off of it." I say. He starts to protest, but I look at him and he closes his mouth.

"Come on guys. I have to get to school." I say, faking a smile. "Shouldn't you eat?" Jace asks, as if he somehow knew I hadn't. I shake my head. "I'm not hungry." I say and I walk out, the three trailing behind me. I hurry to school, hoping I can get rid of the dream. "Ari!" I turn around thinking it's my friends. It's Tyler again. "What do you want?" My friends catch up to me. "Who are they?" He asks. My eyes widen and I turn around. "You-You can see them?" I ask, shocked. He nods. "How couldn't I? They're right behind you, dressed like you, with the same Marks as you."

"OK. Just making sure. I have to go." I rush away. "Mundanes can see you! How? I didn't see you put runes on." I say excited. "Well, that's what we learned yesterday, we learned how to get rid of our glamours, so mundanes can see us." Jace says, with the ghost of a smile again. "So why do you want them to see you?" I wonder knowing they have lessons. "We got the day off. Something about the Clave, we can't participate so we are hanging with you as students that want to come here."

"And you didn't tell me?!" I am ecstatic, almost jumping up and down. "We wanted to see your reaction when they saw us." It is Izzy who spoke up. "Let's get in. I can show you to my mundane friends." I start walking in. I find my friends and walk over. "Ok, now you're wearing the same thing as yesterday. What's going on?" Abby demands.

"I'm wearing different clothes of the same type. That's different." I state. "Guys, these are my other friends. Jace, Isabelle, Alec. Jace, Izzy, and Alec, this is the guys, Abby, Helen, Bailey Walder, Bailey, and her twin Taylor." Gesturing to the girls as I said their names. The Shadowhunters nod. "So these guys are just like you. They wear the same clothes. They have the same things on their arms." Helen points out. I sigh and smack my hand to my head. "We just like black a lot." Before they say anything, I hurry to the front as the sixth graders rush beyond the doors.

"Choir today?" Isabelle asks. I glance around and see people staring at me, not me but my friends. "Nope. I have Tech." I give a disgusted face. "I take it you hate tech?" To my immense surprise again, Alec asks the question. The day is actually better today, I have my friends and others see them. Sure they ask questions about them, but they see them and I was able to talk to them and people wouldn't stare. Well, they stare at what we were wearing but that doesn't matter.

"I don't think I've ever had so much attention drawn to myself." Alec shudders. "You Shadowhunters clearly haven't seen me at school. But it was what we were wearing. All black, nobody does that besides us. I just feel so exposed without wearing the gear." I say, feeling Alec's pain. "Well. Now I know, I love glamour." Jace says, and something like glitter passes over him. "You put that glamour back on, didn't you?" I glance over. He nods and smirks.