Who am I? *A Mortal Instruments Fanfic*

One More

I'm dropped into the familiar blackness. I see a figure running toward me. It's Sophie, but she's not afraid, she's glad to see me. My hand tightens on the sword hilt I was holding. I'm not sure why though. As she comes closer, she says something, "Ari, I-" Her voice is cut off by a cut in her chest. I realize I did that. I look down at my blade and see her blood. She falls to her knees, her life faded. Soon more of my mundane family and friends start running toward me as though they're glad to see me, but I either stab them through the heart or stomach. Or I slice their throat. My mind knows what I'm doing is wrong but my body does it without a second thought. Soon all my family and friends I knew before are dead, my blade spattered in their blood.

I look around and see the pairs of eyes, staring at me in disbelief, and my eyes catch one pair of brown eyes. It is Jared. I drop the sword and it makes no noise in the void my mind has created for me. I drop to my knees, and scream at what I've done, what I've become. All the bodies fall away and I see a figure with long, ebony hair approach. "Isabelle." I whisper. A flash of gold whips at me, and yanks the sword out of my hand and it skitters away and then she cuts my side. "Isabelle." I shout. Her eyes are cold and full of malice. She continues to use her whip and slices my sides while I scream. "You will never be one of us. You have never been a Shadowhunter. You never will be. We will never accept you." Somehow, the sword is back in my hand and with a flash of anger, I raise my sword and cut her down. With her last rattling breath, she gasps, "You're a demon. A monster." And her eyes remain open with no expression.

Alec walks up to me, he is holding a sword. He attacks me. The cuts now hurt like fire and I scream in torment. "You killed my sister. You will never be our friend. Because of you, she's dead. She was right. You are a monster, and a demon." I cut across Alec's chest, and go deeper where his heart is. He sinks to his knees and he whispers, "I hate you." Blood spills down his chin and his eyes give a look of utmost hate. I double over, the wounds feeling like acid is running through my veins.

A figure with a seraph blade approaches. I look up and see golden hair past their ears, and golden eyes. Again, my sword is back in my hands and I rise. I jab at Jace, but he presses in mercilessly. "You killed Isabelle. You killed Alec. You killed your mundane friends. How could you?" He disarms me and kicks the sword away. He stabs at my arms, stomach, and chest. I shriek in agony and I drop to my knees. "Jace." Blood gurgles in my throat. I somehow have a dagger in my hand and I flick the weapon. It flies straight and true. It protrudes from his chest. He drops, and he hisses, "Demon."

The darker than black comes and slices me now. I howl and lie on the ground. The cold voice speaks to me again. "You see? You killed everyone you love. You are in torment. Pain slowly kills you. Join me, and I will make it stop. Join me and you'll unlock who you really are and what you can do."

"No. I will never join you. You think I'll join you just to make it stop? I'm loyal to my friends, no matter what. You think I'll join you because it's all I have left. Well, you're wrong. Give up."

"Very well, then." The voice laughs and it feels like glass is injected into my ears. Then glass and spikes rain down onto my paralyzed body and it creates wounds deep into my skin, and Death is knocking on my door. It's taking my vision, for a certainty blackness is creeping in. It almost seems peaceful. My vision is fading, and the last thing I see, is all my friends that died at my own hand and it closes in...

Ari!! Wake up! Wake up!" A call gargles. I roll of the bed and off the tangled sheets and onto the cold tile. Footsteps come near and I tense. I am pulled into arms again, and I smell lemon and clean soap, that tells me Jace is here again. Alec and Izzy have looks of horror on their faces. "It didn't work." I moan, knotting my hands into the soft, familiar, material of Jace's shirt. Not cotton, yet not silk. This time Jace does not pet me, he just holds me as I weep and cry. The horror replays in my mind, when I come to the part where I murder the very people who are comforting me, I jerk away. I scramble for my book. I quickly scrawl in my latest illusion. Jace flips open the book and the others crowd around and read.

Jace is the first to react. He tosses the book on the bed and comes toward me. "Get away. Get away." I shout. The others come closer as well. "Back! Stay away! I'm a monster." I whisper. I scrabble away. They back me into a corner. Jace grabs me and I struggle to get away, but he doesn't let go. I go limp and now does he stoke me and tell me empty words of how it'll be alright and I'll be ok. I fall asleep in his arms, weeping and crying.

*Author's Note: I'm so sorry I haven't updated in forever! I wish I did. But I'm so busy with real world Nanowrimo. Only 20,000 more words and less than a month. I'm so screwed... :) Thanks again for reading and being patient!*