Crimson Petals - [Bakugou x Reader]

Chapter 9

Katsuki held a pillow in front of his face and let out a muffled scream. What the hell was wrong with him? He had been miserable ever since you came back.

Looking at you made his chest hurt, you were all that was on his mind, which led to him dropping grades and messing up in training. The other day he was sparring with you, and you completely wiped the floor with him. He felt powerless, pathetic, and so incredibly tired. He barely got any sleep because he was up all night thinking.

Thinking of what he should do. It was apparent that you didn't like him back, but did that mean that he should just give up? Maybe he could make things up to you. Perhaps he could show you that he wasn't the jerk everyone thought he was.

He knew that people disliked him, and he understood why. He wasn't good with feelings, and he wasn't good with people. He was insecure about himself, constantly comparing himself to others. With every year he grew older, his confidence shrank. It just took him way too long to see and accept this.

He had always thought that he could do no wrong if something terrible happened, then it was someone else's fault. That was how he went through life, and he hurt people along the way. One of those people being you. When he found out that you had been seriously ill and you weren't just letting yourself go, he realised that every person had a story to tell and he had no right to assume what the context was.

The only reason he had been rude to you was that he was too stupid to open his eyes properly. It was easier pointing the finger at someone else, than acknowledging his own flaws.

It wasn't that the two of you had never shared any good moments. He held some fond memories of your training together and improving each other's quirks. Even though he would have never admitted it, your water quirk was perfect for helping him work on his explosions.

Water was his quirk's weakness, and now you were his.

He felt pathetic and weak. Leave it to Bakugou Katsuki to fall in love with someone who didn't love him back. It was the first time he ever felt something like love for another person, and it just had to be like this. It was a goddamn joke.

So what to do? He wasn't some pathetic loser that would keep crying over a girl he couldn't have, but what would life be like if he would try to forget his feelings for you?

Before he realised how much you meant to him, there was nothing. All he was striving for was being the best in everything, but there was no real reason for his efforts. He didn't know what he would do once he was the best. What else would there be to live for?

He felt himself become more and more bitter, downright nasty at times. Which is why he had hurt you in the first place. He didn't like himself, he felt like there was no real reason for him being there.

But then he looked into your eyes on the day you had come back, and it felt like he saw clearly for the first time in his life. It felt like even though he had seen you so many times before, he had never seen the real you. He wanted to break out of his shell and get to know you, hold you and talk to you, but he knew that you weren't interested. Especially not after how he had treated you.

You, however, seemed to have already forgotten about what he had said to you. It both relieved and upset him. Was he really that unimportant to you that you could forget about his words so quickly? Was he that insignificant?

Why did you not care about him, when his whole world was centred around you? He could feel hot tears coming out of his eyes. How pathetic. He aggressively wiped them away with his sleeve. He was tired of feeling so low. He was tired of thinking about you. He was tired of the pain he felt when he looked at you joking around with other guys.