Kalico 2: Hypnotized & Naked in Hope Springs

Kalico: Caught Naked!

"Our Crisis Continues" ~ Wallflower

Kalico: with Wallflower, Thursday Morning, Hiding beside Johnson Road, both still naked 

DAMAGE CONTROL – NOBODY HERE BUT US CHICKENS

Wallflower had said to think of something real fast to save our situation; to save our skins, so to speak.

It reminded me of the old playground trick where someone throws a ball at you while you are not looking, then shouts your name while the ball is already in the air and says "think fast." Sometimes you catch the ball, but usually it hits you.

So, thinking fast, I did my best to "do something," which was also one of Flower's mandates for me. Then, guess what? Flower clammed up. She fell into her old habit of holding real still and being quiet, entering her Invisibility Mode.

Uh, to summarize the situation. I had just been unanimously elected crisis leader, or at least spokesperson, of Wallflower's Secret Naked Hiking Society, and handed the chore of damage control as my first assignment. The unanimous vote did not include my own abstention, which somehow I was not able to voice before the office was thrust upon me.

Flower's whispered words of "Do something. Think of Something," were still fresh in my ears.

A cool-headed thought popped into my noggin. Define the problem, as exactly as possible. You can only rarely fix a problem if you cannot define it. Define your problem and you will have it half solved. Amazing wisdom to flash through my head in this crisis, yes? No. Or maybe, perhaps. 

Another parallel thought flying through my mind was, "We would have no crisis if you had kept your clothing on. That would have been wiser."

Defining the situation, and problem, I quickly reviewed in my head the events of the recent moments. A few minutes ago we were as carefree as two naked pixies or fairy princesses flitting down this dark country road under the light of a full moon. We had totally dismissed the rest of the world from our minds, and we had forgotten we were naked.

Now, we were crouching our bare bottoms in the shadows more than a mile from the safety of my personal bedroom, thoroughly aware that we were Very Naked, and an unknown person, probably male, was only a few feet away and starting to look for us. This would have been an excellent excuse to panic. The adrenalin building up in my bloodstream was making me feel as if panic might be a viable choice in only a few moments.

To complicate the situation, the tall grass was tickling my bum.

Also complicating the whole picture for me was my own physical reaction. Or perhaps neuro-chemical reaction from the adrenalin would better describe it. From the moment I realized that someone was driving a vehicle around the corner, my adrenalin kicked in. The intensity of it was many times greater than I had experienced earlier when I contemplated being eaten by the coyotes.

The only result I had from my thought processes so far was the satisfaction that in a hopeless crisis I might get elected leader. Such an honor is like being appointed captain of a sinking ship.

However, I must say, this is the first election I had ever won, so I paused a fraction of a moment to savor the victory. I decided to make my acceptance speech rather short, but inspiring.

"Keep calm. Don't panic. We will think of something," I explained to my constituent, Flower. I felt as if I were a politician telling lies to reassure the public during an unprecedented crisis. I think perhaps my voice might have quivered a little, not exactly from fright, but certainly from the adrenalin overload I was experiencing.