loving the heartless

Chapter-22

You return like autumn and I fall Everytime .....

You know sometimes you want your favourite candy but it's not there in the shop so you just sit and wait for it to come back.

Maybe I was waiting , waiting for him to come back.
And now when he is in front of me I had no where to go , no where to run off too.

And no way in hell I can ignore him like that.

"Why did you leave " he rasped.

"Maybe you should ask yourself that Kristian".

Maybe it's time to let all the secrets out .
I cannot hide this anymore I just cannot hide anything. Maybe I'm just his best friends sister but he is far more than that for me.

But even if I say that I like him , it will not change the fact that he is already committed to someone. Whom he loves the most.

"Let me in Karen" he looked into my eyes while saying this .

Let you in as in in my life , but you are already in it .

I gave him space to enter my home.
What if giving away my feelings would be of no use as he is already committed to someone. Sure as hell he would love her.
Why would he even think of me?

"Why did you ran off " he asked .

"I did what ? "... I asked angrily .

" We were talking and the next thing I am hearing is you running off to you home "

"Who told you where I was ?"

"Laura".

What a best friend I got .

"So? Care to tell me , what's going on?"

"What if I say nothing "!

"Then I would say you are a pretty bad liar . Cause clearly your eyes says something else. And by looking at it right now ..." He started coming closer .

"I would say you have been crying . Who made you cry? Is it Kevin? . Has he done anything to disturb you? I swear to God if anything..."

"No , Kristian he didn't , and no one did anything . I'm just stressed up for"..

"For"?

"For , um you know exams and the screen play and the future and..

"And?"

"That's it ".

"Look into my eyes Karen".

All this time I was looking away from him. How can I tell you I'm scared of letting my feelings out to you. Scared of how my feelings would turn things complicated. Just how much you make me feel and you pretending not to care.

"Okaay , geez i think I need to sleep , I'll talk to you tomorrow and I guess you should get some rest too". I tried hurrying him away.

"And what if I don't want to go?"

And here come the heartattack time..

"What if I say I want to stay here with you untill you tell me what's bothering you. Untill you let me in into your little world that I so wanna be a part of .
Untill you open up to me .
What is it that you are hiding baby".

And just like that the butterflies died out.
And just like that it all comes flooding back .
How important his girlfriend is to him .
And moreover I think I am not the one he needs .