What the Heart Needs - JiKook

Chapter 2 - Lingering Doubts

**AN: I know the above picture is TaeKook, but the position was too perfect for this chapter.

We didn't have much time before the start of the tour, only a couple months and they were going to be filled with sun up to sun down practices, TV spots, photos and costume fittings. We were supposed to change our hair color again, too. I wonder what Jimin would pick? I was sticking with black; I didn't feel like bleaching out my hair again. It was a pain to deal with.

With any time I found between, before or after practice and on the few days we had off, I was at the gym, pushing myself to get bigger before costumes were finished and I was forced to stay a certain size. I didn't see Jimin much these days, it really bothered me, but we were both so busy and with my own personal goal to fulfil, we really only saw each other at night. Jimin looked disappointed a lot, I often fell asleep quickly after getting in bed from the workouts. I felt bad, but this was all for him. He was just going to have to be patient. I hadn't told him what I was doing or why, I wanted to surprise him, see if he noticed any changes.

I was able to keep my secret personal training from him for the first month since he was so wrapped up in the choreo, but he eventually got curious enough to find out where I was. Focused on my training, I didn't hear him come in, but after a moment, the sweet smell of his lotion hit my nose and alerted me to his presence.

"Whatchya doin, Kookie?", he asked cutely, trying to get some attention.

"Exercising."

"Don't you get enough of a workout with all the practices we have been doing?"

"Building stamina."

"You have plenty of that.", he giggled.

"The concerts really work us hard; I want to be ready."

"Oh.", he paused for a bit, I could tell he wanted something. "How much longer will you be?"

I know he's lonely... I've been coming back late every night. I was going to be too tired to do anything tonight, too.

"Just a bit longer. I'll come back after this set, okay?"

"Oh... okay. I'll see you soon then."

"Yeah.", sorry Jimin... I have to do this. I refuse to lose you to someone else.

By the time I got home, I hopped in the shower and instantly passed out in bed. Sorry again, Jimin.

The next few days, he would come find me at the gym, looking more and more depressed and shuffling about as he spoke, trying to get my attention. I wanted so bad to give it to him, but if I stopped training now, I'd never meet the deadline of the tour and then I'd have to stop for the five months we were gone. I HAD to do this now, it was my only chance. All this progress would go to waste! I was already getting a little bigger, maybe if he saw the progress I was making, he would see how hard I was trying to meet his ideal.

Today was our day off, so I hit the gym early. I would have plenty of time to work out. Jimin was busy having a day out with Tae, so I figured this was the perfect time to come here. A few hours into my workout, that wonderful lotion hit my nose again amongst the scent of sweat and plastic padded mats.

"Hey there, Beefy."

"Hey, Pork Chop.", I answered his little name.

I was on the floor doing pushups and didn't turn to look up at him, but I saw his feet coming closer and soon he was crouched next to me.

"Going to be here all day?"

"A couple more hours, but not all day. I promise to come home and spend time with you."