Schwerelos

blood bound

We are bounded by blood
and I hope that's our only connection
because I never would want to see you as my reflection.
And maybe we aren't connected at all,
because there's a good chance
that there's venom in your veins
why else would you like to cause pain?
And my veins are filled with red blood
we both know that you've proved that enough.

Sometimes I think you like watching me cry,
sometimes I think you like seeing tears in my eyes.
Why else would you like to see me hurt,
why would you destroy everything with your words?
But I learned my lesson
I won't give you the satisfaction
to see oceans in my eyes,
oh no, now you have to face the storm in them that rises.
Maybe you know that your words won't keep it at bay
and even your threats won't prevent the chaos it creates.
I'm not a child anymore,
I won't let you push me around,
I'm not a playtoy you can break
whenever you want me to make a sound.
Because I'm a human being,
I've got feelings, I've got rights
and you provoke hellfire inside
of me,
everything I wanted to be
is now everything I am.
And you have to understand
that you can't call a thirteen year old girl ugly and fat,
because you can't see the whole impact that you have.
I once knew this little girl who was looking up to you,
she believed
every lie you yelled at her
and every laugh hurt so much worse
than the one before.
She believed
that she had to become more
than she already was,
because she just knew that she wasn't enough.

And until this day she still thinks that she's not enough,
she believes that no make-up in this world can cover her ugliness up.
Her heart still breaks
and so do her mirrors,
marks on her body,
thoughts full of terror.
The only thing that has changed
is her attitude towards you,
she won't crumble
just because you want her to.
But that doesn't mean your words don't hurt,
because they still do
and it doesn't mean she doesn't cry,
but her fight is overdue.
Tears are still falling from starless skies
but now she gets angry,
because she doesn't recognize
what you've become
and it also makes her sad
to look at all the mess that you've done.

The destruction you brought
found a home inside of her mind,
her thoughts became monsters
and she herself is the worst of their kind.