"Hey what did you do to Jc?" Jenn asked coming into my room. It's been a week since the kiss and I haven't gone to the o2l house because I don't want to see Jc. I've ignored his calls and texts. He didn't do anything wrong i just- Need some time with my thoughts.
"Why? Is he hurt?" I asked worriedly. She came and sat on the bed.
"No. He just. He hasn't been the same since I left you guys out by the pool." She said biting her nail. So he hasn't been the same since I blamed me kissing him on hormones. My mind tracked back to the hurt look in his eyes. I looked down at my hands and played with my nails.
"Well how h-has he been different?" Over the past week I had avoided discussing Jc but now i had to know what i did to him.
"Well for one he doesn't smile. And he's always sad he has this hurt look in his eyes. You have to know why he's like this." She said looking at me.
"Well uhmm. When you left is at the pool i kind of kissed him." I said looking down.
"You what h-."
"It gets worse." I said cutting her of.
"Continue." She said waving her arms.
"Well when i was kissing him i had thoughts that i was such a bad person cause here i am falling for one of my best friends boyfriends friend. And so I pulled away and got out the pool and he asked me where i was going and i kinda sorta blamed the kiss on my hormones."
"You can't help who you fall in love with." She said getting up and walking out of my room. I pulled out my phone and did what i know i had to do.
To Jc👌
Me: uhmm I'm sorry I haven't replied to any of your texts i just needed to figure out some things. Can we grab some coffee maybe? I want to catch up.😊
Jc: sure i really need to talk to you. I'll pick you up in about ten minutes.
End of texts
Great I wonder what he could want to talk to me about. I got up and started doing my hair and make up. Just adding some mascara and blush, spraying some perfume and deodorant and straightening my hair.(bare in mind my hair is naturally straightish). The bell rang and i rushed to open it but Jenn got there first.
"Hey Jc? What are you doing here?" She asked.
"We're going to get coffee." I said grabbing my phone and going outside.
"Bye Jenn." I said and she closed the door, her face confused.
"Uhmm so where do you want to go?" He said once we got in the car. The atmosphere was tense between us nothing like it had been before.
"There's a coffee shop around for the corner." I said picking a hang nail not wanting to look at him. He pulled out of his parking space and began driving.
"Turn left."I said not bothering to look up from my phone. We pulled up at a small coffee shop. We got out the car and sat at the table where a waitress took our order.
"Can i have a caramel frappe please?" She wrote down my order and turned to Jc.
"Can I just have an ice tea?" He said winking at the waitress. I don't know why but I felt this burning feeling in the pit of my stomach when this happened i felt- jealous. But why i don't like Justin I don't want to like him because I don't want to have him and then loose him, i would never forgive myself if i did that. But right now i wanted to like him.
"Hello, payt are you listening." He said annoyingly. Why are my feelings all over the place.
"Uhm no I'm sorry i kinda just zone out now days." I said truthfully.
"Well I was saying how much I missed you." He said blushing.
"Cool so whats new in your life?" I asked.
"It's only been a week." He said.
"A lot can happen in a week." I said smiling.
"Here are your drinks." The waitress said.
"Thank you." We said.
"Oh uhmm well I haven't really done much this week. Most people commented saying you should make a channel and all that but you don't want to. Even though you really should." He started rambling.
"Okay I'll make one." I said. "So anyway what was thing you wanted to talk about?" I asked.
"oh yeah uhmm payton." He started scratching the back of his neck. "Look you can't say the kiss was nothing i saw it in your eyes, and well, i like you Payton i like you alot." He said holding my hand on the table.
"Jc I- we it's- I can't." I finally managed to say.
"Why?" He asked. "I know you feel the same."
"I do it's just i feel like I'm not good enough like I have to be better for you, i want to be better for you. You deserve better than me." I said igno ing the fact that I'm fragile and weak.
"Look Payt look at me." I forced myself to look at him. "I don't want you to think like that your a beautiful girl and I-I'm in love with you." Those words hit me like a truck I didn't know what to feel.
"I love you too but it's complicated. I'd rather never have you than have you and get you taken away or grow apart."
"Please be my girlfriend Payt i don't want to be without you." He said making people 'awe'. I nodded my head through tears and kissed him making those familiar fireworks apear.
