It Takes a Wolf

Chapter 23: Queen Prankster

Tomlen walked aimlessly down a long corridor, trying to convince himself he wasn't in a dream. He wore a big goofy grin, staring at the ground going through every detail over and over again. Is this really happening? THE Lion of Ferelden has asked me to be his right? The Lady inquisitor already has so much faith in me. This has to be the best day of my life! I can't fail them. He nodded to himself, filled with determination to prove his worth when he looked up to see where he is.

He looked to his left, then to his right, not seeing what would look like an office fit for an ambassador. He continued down the hall when he saw a room at the end with the door ajar. He walked toward the room, pushing the door open slowly, looking around. Now this looks like the right place, he thought. The room was grand and decorated with the finest of furniture and luxurious fur rugs. In the far corner of the room was a giant mahogany desk stained dark brown with a lacquered finish and a massive red velour chair with a tufted back.

He went to put the scroll down on the desk when he heard a faint snicker. Intruders! He thought, quickly and quietly unsheathing his sword. He crouched down slightly, tiptoeing around the room, listening for the snicker to lead him to its source. There it is. He turned towards the wall behind the desk when he sees a pair of feet in black flats sticking out from the bottom of a curtain. He reached out slowly for the curtain with his free hand while raising his sword in the other. He took a deep breath and quickly pulled the curtain back, ready to swing. "Piss! Wait what? Who the hell are you?" A thin elven woman said, glaring at him.

"I am Tomlen Brelland, Second Commander of the Inquisition. Who are you and what are you doing in the Ambassador's office?"

"Oh for fucks sake! You the Second Commander? Your just a wee thing! Well, that's it then, Cully has lost his head."

"Who are you? I will not ask again!" He bellowed, his patience wearing thin.

"All right all right calm your tits!" She said, straightening herself up before giving him an awkward bow. "I'm Sera, part of the Friends of Red Jenny, also known as queen prankster of the Inquisition. Though I don't much like the 'queen' bit, that's a title for the ass kissing lot, so Sera is fine."

What kind of title is that? Tomlen couldn't tell if she were being serious or taking him for a fool. Before he could question her further the door started to open. "Shit piss!" She cursed, grabbing his arm, pulling him behind the curtain with her.

"I am not going to be an accomplice in whatever it is you're doing here!" He hissed.

"News flash you daft tit, you already are, so you might as well sit back and enjoy the show." She whispered back.

Josephine made her way through the door with a large stack of papers. She hummed pleasantly to herself as she walked to the desk and set them down when she saw the scroll. She opened it and read it thoroughly when she released a sigh, sitting down in her chair. She put the scroll down and grabbed the handle to open the top middle drawer. "Here it comes!" Sera whispered with excitement. When Josephine pulled the drawer open four huge toads jump out landing in her lap, shoulder and head. She jumped to her feet, screaming in terror and disgust as she brushed herself off frantically to remove them. "Now's our chance!" Sera said, grabbing him by the wrist as they fled from behind the curtain, bolting out the door.

"SERA! YOU FILTHY SON OF A-" Josephine yelled at the top of her lungs as they continued to run as fast as they could.

They ran all the way to the courtyard when Sera finally let go of his wrist as they fought for breath when she began to laugh hysterically. "That was grand!"

"Why...did...you do that?" Tomlen asked still out of breath.

Sera looked at him completely dumbfounded. "What do you mean why? What kinda stupid question is that? I did it 'cause it's fuckin' hilarious! Also it passes the time between missions, but that's beside the point. My job is to loosen up the tight asses and big heads. If your ass gets to tight I'm their to loosen it up! Wait, not like that."