Blinded by Fear

Clouds and Wildflowers

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"I came to apologize..." Shikamaru said to himself, standing on the balcony outside of Sakaria's apartment. "I..." He shook his head. It wasn't often that he had to swallow his pride and say sorry, but he wanted it to sound sincere. "I came to say I'm sorry...Not that either..." He hadn't even gotten the courage to knock on her door yet. "Sakaria... I'm sorry... ugh. Why doesn't any of this sound right?" His usually cool demeanor had slipped away like it always did when Sakaria was around, and he was reduced to reciting lines to make himself seem put together. "Sakaria, I wanted to say you were..."

"I was right..?" Sakaria finished his sentence and raised an eyebrow as she leaned against her open doorframe. Her face was solemn, but Shikamaru was glad to see it since he hadn't in weeks.

"No," He fell back into his old ways for a moment, not wanting to admit a woman was right. In fact, he didn't think she was right, but he was trying to take his dad's advice and pick his battles. "I mean... sort of." It wasn't as easy as his old man made it sound.

Sakaria stood, unmoving. "Why are you here, Shikamaru?"

"I just..." He breathed out heavily, giving in to the situation, "I wanted to say I'm sorry for the other day... I still don't think you should go after your brother... But I'm sorry for the way things happened." He looked over to her, hoping her hard exterior had melted away, but it hadn't.

"Is that it?"

"Well, I..." He looked to the wood planks of the balcony below, shoving his hands in his pockets, "I was hoping I could get you to come cloud watching with me... You know, like before..."

"No," Sakaria started to shut the door, but Shikamaru stuck his foot in it.

"C'mon, Sakaria... I don't know what else to do..." He looked down at her after opening the door the rest of the way and coming in uninvited. He shut the door behind him to shield the rest of the village from any onslaught that might occur after.

"You could start by getting the fuck out of my apartment," she said coldly, her black eyes looking stern as she crossed her arms in front of her.

Shikamaru sighed and put a hand up, "Okay. I'll go." He placed the same hand on her shoulder, half expecting her to pull away, but she didn't. "I really am sorry, Sakaria..." His face turned into one of shock as he saw tears start to form in the edges of the Uchiha girl's eyes. Instinctively, he took the hand that was resting on her shoulder and pulled her into him, holding her tightly. She only buried her face into his vest, crying with her arms still crossed in front of her. He pulled his other hand from his pocket and wrapped his other arm around her, holding her close to him. "I can't imagine what you're feeling right now," he admitted, "I'm sorry I said that we all know. We don't." Sakaria's sobs only got heavier and Shikamaru looked up, noticing her apartment was a wreck. There were several liquor bottles emptied on the counter of the adjoining kitchen, and some knocked over on her living room table. He sighed, upset with himself for letting her be alone for so long without at least checking on her. The two stood there for what seemed like hours before Sakaria finally pulled away, wiping her eyes which were raw from crying so often.

"I know... it's not your call," she managed to say. She could not, however, manage to look him in the eyes. "I'm sorry I took it out on you... it's just.... When you said you all knew Sasuke better than I did I-" Shikamaru held his hand up again to silence her.

"I get it. Don't apologize." He tilted her chin up with his index finger, forcing her to look at him. "I shouldn't have let you deal with all of this alone... that's not what friends do." He wrapped her back into his arms and, this time, she hugged him back. He rested his cheek on the top of her head and mumbled, "you have to stop drinking so much, though. It could kill you, ya know?" Sakaria pulled away, looking up at him inquisitively.