Blinded by Fear

Visitor

Sakaria was abruptly awakened from a dream, gasping and sitting up in bed as if someone had been suffocating her before. She held her head, thinking hard about what she had just seen. There's no way... It must have just been a dream. Itachi is... She looked over at Suigetsu who was sleeping soundly beside her, sprawled across the bed on his stomach. His arm had apparently been draped over her until she flung herself upward. She then directed her gaze out the window that was still shedding a large amount of moonlight into the room. Still though, it all felt so real... She drew her knees up to her chest, still wrapped in the blankets, and hugged them close to her, thinking about her dream.

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Not knowing where she was, Sakaria woke up in a patch of tall grass, the amber sunlight of afternoon covering the area in a sepia tone. She looked up, seeing a hill in front of her with a large tree on the top. After standing, she walked up the hill reluctantly and saw her eldest brother sitting against the tree. "I-Itachi?" She said, stumbling over his name as though it was a foreign word. He turned to her and smiled wide.

"There you are," his voice was inviting, just like it had been when she was a little girl, "I've been waiting for you, little sister." Sakaria raced up the hill, stumbling a bit, and landed in his arms, weeping.

"Itachi!" She couldn't stop saying his name, afraid he'd disappear and she'd never be able to address him again, "Itachi, why?" She felt him hold her close to him and she burrowed her face into his chest. "Why did you leave? Why did you let Sasuke-" She was interrupted by him moving his hand from the back of her head to her shoulders, making her look up at him.

"You know how sick I was, Sakaria..." Sakaria thought back to all the times Itachi would come back from battles, and she would have to help him with breathing treatments and the occasions he would keep her up at night, coughing in his sleep. "I had to allow Sasuke to find me. I had to test his strength to make sure he'd be safe... and I wanted him to help me atone for what I had done as well."

"But you left me," Sakaria said, tears flowing freely down her face, leaving staining trails. She felt, once again, like a petulant child competing for her big brother's attention.

"I always knew you were strong," Itachi smiled at her, his eyes closing as he placed his hand on the top of her head. "You are strong because you are empathetic and you have the biggest heart I've ever seen. That alone would keep you safe, or at least that's what I've always hoped." Sakaria's eyes widened, almost angry.

"But I'm not strong, Itachi!" She shook her head violently, causing Itachi to draw back his hand. "You sheltered me and babied me so much... and now that I'm on my own, I'm scared, and I barely know anything. I'm not even sure what I'm doing or who I am! What good is a 'big heart' if I can't protect it." She winced, trying to stifle her sobs to no avail. "It isn't fair, Itachi. You and Sasuke are so strong. Everyone in every village knows your name... but no one even knew I existed, and now that they do, they think I'm some monster."

Itachi's eyes widened, then narrowed as he smiled at her again, pulling her down into his chest. "Sweet sister," he soothed, looking down at her. "I know it seems that way now, but that will all change one day because you have the power to change it. I admit, I shouldn't have sheltered you like I did. I kept Sasuke in the dark for so long and I kept the two of you apart in fear of what might happen to you both. I didn't want our clan's mistakes to become your mistakes as well... As I told Sasuke, I now believe that you two had the ability to change our entire clan." Sakaria looked up at him, confused. "I hope that one day you can forgive me for all that has happened, but I want you to know that I believe in you."

"I don't understand..." Sakaria said, laying her head against his chest again, "I was burdened with the truth, and I wasn't allowed to say anything... I wasn't allowed to make Sasuke... or anyone understand why you did what you did." Her voice was quiet, not wanting to bring up that terrible night. She decided to change course, "Am I doing the right thing, Itachi? I left the village with these two ninja to find Sasuke... but... I don't know why. I know that Sasuke is planning to attack the leaf, but I don't know if I'm supposed to help him or try to convince him to-" Itachi stopped her again, holding her closer to him.

"I think you'll find that our brother has his own way of making decisions, and it won't matter what you say," She was entirely confused by this. Itachi had just said he believed in her...that he believed she could have invoked change amongst their clan. Now, he's convinced she can't even change their brother's mind? "You have to find your way." Itachi continued, "You have to make your own decisions."

"But... what if I decide wrong?" She asked, shaking in uncertainty.

"I made wrong decision after wrong decision," her brother reminded, running his hand over her head. "but, somehow things always ended up just as they should have."

"Can't you just tell me if what I'm doing is the right thing?" She asked again, almost impatiently.

Itachi chuckled a little then sat her up again, flicking her forehead, "You've always been so restless." He teased, kissing the top of her head then pressing his forehead to hers, "You'll find that out on your own, little sister... but whatever happens, please know this. I will always be your big brother..." He pulled away slightly as if a thought just struck him, "Speaking of which, if that white haired boy you're traveling with hurts you, I will find a way to make his life a living hell." Sakaria giggled at his side commentary, tears still beading in her eyes causing Itachi to smile and set his forehead against hers again, holding her close. "I am so proud of the woman you are becoming. I am proud to call you my sister... and I will love you... always." He wrapped her in his arms once again, and a bright light appeared, blinding her as it engulfed every particle of the atmosphere around them. She reached out fervently trying to bring him back to her, not wanting Itachi to leave again. Then, the next thing she knew, she was back in her bed, attempting to catch her breath.

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Tears came to her eyes again as she held her knees tightly. Suddenly, though, she felt embarrassed, remembering Suigetsu was sleeping beside her. She decided to crawl out of bed gently, so as not to wake him, then tiptoed into the small, adjoining bathroom, turning on the shower. I'm surprised Suigetsu didn't wake up at all, She thought, stepping into the water, now able to cry freely.

In the room, however, Suigetsu opened one eye, looking in the direction of the bathroom where the glow of the light inside seeped under the door. He could hear the shower running. Wonder what her problem is... He thought, raising an eyebrow with one eye still closed. He was fighting an internal struggle, deciding if he should check on her or just go back to sleep. She's always so dramatic. He shook the last thought from his head, figuring something must be wrong if she was up so late.