No Good Nick

Redemption Part 1

Nick's POV

I walked into the house, after months of running and days of being rehabilitated from the pills, I walk in. My ankle was still funny, I still had a limp. And my arm was in a strap and a small cast, but I felt...ok. For the first time in months, I was actually ok. Liz was being very generous. We spent a lot of time watching top chef, preparing her to win. But there was something she needed, like insurance that I do love them. Molly and I, there was still some bad blood between us. She'd never admit it, but I know. She's trying her best to help me and stuff. I just wish I knew how to help her. Jeremy was oddly the one to put all his chips in instead. He's been kind, helpful, thoughtful, I think he feels guilty about what he did. Ed, I can see it in his eyes, he loves me,  he's happy I'm back, but he doesn't think I love him too. He's hurt. I still have a lot to fix. 

One day, I'm in bed, on my phone. Molly comes in. She looked a bit frustrated.

Nick: Molly, is everything all right? You seem frustrated.

Molly: Yes, it's fine.

Nick: Please! I invented the "I'm fine" thing. Tell me.

Molly: It's just, I'm worried.

Nick: About what?

Molly: Us...we seem out of sync.

Nick: I noticed. I thought you were still hurt about, you know.

I look down at the bed, embarrassed. I hurt my best friend.

Molly: I hurt you too Nick. You're not the only bad person here. I'm, just, is it normal to be worried about us?

Liz walks in to say that dinner was gonna be ready soon. And she sees us in an intense moment.

Liz: Hey guys, dinner's almost done. Everything all right here?

Nick: We're just, ( I suddenly think back to all the bad choices I ever made. And most of them happened because I kept things secret. Not this time. ) Molly and I are out of sync. 

Molly: We're just not working or something.

Liz: Girls, that's completely fine.

Nick and Molly: It is?

Liz: You girls became enemies before you even met. And when you did meet, you became friends. But then stuff happened and your boat got rocked. Now I know that you forgave each other for the things you did. For instance, Molly, are you still mad about what Nick did? And Nick, are you still mad about what Molly did?

Nick: I'm not, actually. When I left, I realized that, no one made my dad borrow money from the mob. He chose to do it and it put him in prison. I felt guilty, ashamed about what I did to you after.

Molly: I was mad at you. When I found out, I had smoke coming out of my ears. I just kept thinking, why would my best friend do that to me? Then, I realized, I took part in ruining her life. And I realized, I actually destroyed myself. I was dishonest, selfish and power hungry. 

Liz: See? You're not mad at each other. You're angry, at yourselves. You forgave each other, but did you forgive yourselves?

What Liz said made sense. It made me think, I forgave them, but did I forgive myself for hurting them? I didn't. I don't think I earned it yet.

I needed to find a way to make me and Molly, me and Molly again. I kept thinking, what did we love doing together? Easy, everything. I waited until Liz left the room so we could chat. 

Nick: Hey Molls?

Molly: Yeah?

Nick: You wanna do something?