No Good Nick

Stop Running

I'm sitting in my room thinking about everything I've been through. I'm lying in bed debating whether everything is his fault, or is it also mine? Am I blaming dad for the things he made me do? Did he make me do them? I had a choice. I could've said no. I didn't. Why did I just walk away? I wish, I wish there was an off button for my mind. Things would be much more peaceful. I can't take it. I need some air. I'm just gonna get some food. Or water. 

As I walk into the kitchen, I run into Ed and Liz.

Liz: Hey sweetie.

Ed: How're you feeling?

Nick: I'm fine.

Liz: What's going on?

Nick: Nothing. Why would you think something is going on?

Liz: Let's see, how long have we known you?

Ed: It's ok, Nick. You can talk to us about anything.

I close my eyes, take in a deep breath, and count to 3. 

Nick: I have a problem. And I can't bring myself to face it. Even if I did want to face it, I don't know how. 

Liz: If you can't push yourself to face it, then maybe it's your own way of telling yourself that you're not ready for it yet. 

Nick: I don't want to run from it. If there's one thing I've learned from everything in the past months, I can't run from my problems. 

Ed: Yes, you're right. But pushing yourself to do something, something even your mind is trying to stop you from doing, can be harmful. Our minds, they are powerful and are capable of making extraordinary things. But if it doesn't take a break from all of the negative things in our life, it will get sick. 

Liz: I agree with you Ed. But Nick has a point.Nick for a while now, you've been working on yourself. Rebuilding your life, your self-esteem, self-confidence, your mental health in general. If you're afraid that this problem will set you back, then we need to deal with it, not wait until it gets worse. 

Nick: I...I don't know what to do. I honestly don't know whether to ignore it, confront it, run from it. What did you say?

Liz: What?

Ed: What do you mean?

Nick: When I was running from everything, what did you say to stop me from running? 

Ed: We said, we love you, and we'll never stop fighting for you. 

I always hated keeping secrets. When dad told me to con them, live with them, everything had to be a secret. Obviously. But, I never liked keeping it a secret. It always felt like a weight. 

Nick: It's my dad...He's back.

They were shocked, confused, afraid. I could tell.

Liz: I...I thought he was in prison. 

Nick: So did I. But then I remembered the last time I visited him, I was looking for some answers. And I wasn't in the best state of mind at the time, but I remember him saying something about getting out soon.  

Ed: This, um, this is good news, right? He's out...

Nick: Not to point fingers, but he was the one who asked to scam you. Even when I didn't wanna do it anymore, he kept asking me to steal from you guys, ruin your lives. 

Liz: So this was what you meant by problem. 

Nick: I...I'm really confused. Everything was going so well. I was finally ok. I-I really don't wanna mess that up. 

Ed: Look at me. You are and always will be a part of this family. No matter what. So don't be afraid to make any decision. Because we love you, and we'll never stop loving you.

Nick: I...I need some air. I'm gonna go for a walk.

Liz: We love you. 

Ed's POV

I could see her in a war with herself. She was debating whether she should give her dad another chance or not. He hurt her. And because of that, her mental health suffered a lot. 

Liz: What was that?

Ed: What was what?

Liz: "Don't be afraid to make any decision"

Ed: She was anxious and confused. I wanted to calm her down. 

Liz: She was confused whether she should give him another chance or not. She didn't say she was gonna leave us for him.

Ed: I know. But as much as she loves us, that's her dad. The man who raised her. Eventually, he was gonna ask her to live with him again. I didn't want us to be a reason for not choosing him and then resenting us in the end. 

Liz: Well, what about last night? After months of her being with us, then running away, then being back with us, then her being sick and helping her and her finally being ok and healthy, after all that, we decided LAST NIGHT. We made a decision last night about adopting her. What about last night, Ed?

Ed: We're not gonna make her choose between us and her dad. If we make her choose, we're gonna lose her either way. If she chooses him, we lose her. If she chooses us, she'll resent us for it and we'll still lose her. 

Liz: I just got her back...

Ed: I know, Liz. I know.

Nick's POV

Why did you do this? Why did you have to come back and ruin everything? I was happy. God! I just, I want to stay happy....Why can't I stay happy? I'm sitting on a park bench. Alone. Watching kids with their parents. Watching animals run around. One thing everyone here has in common; they are happy. 

Person: That's a nice view.

I turn to my right and I see my dad. I got sucked into what's happening in front of me, I didn't notice him sit down.

Nick: Dad.

Tony: How are you?

Nick: Confused. 

Tony: I'm sorry. You were happy and I came in and ruined everything. It's all my fault.

Nick: Not...not everything's your fault. 

Tony: Nick, can we start over? 

Nick: A clean slate?

Tony: Yes. I wanna be your dad again. 

I sit there quietly for a few seconds, trying to decide if it was a good idea to give him a chance.

Tony: We don't have to do anything big. Just, baby steps. 

Nick: And how's that gonna work?

Tony: We meet a few times a week, or more or less if you want. We just have lunch, eat, talk. Like I said, baby steps. 

Nick: Where are we gonna eat?

Tony: In a diner. Burgers, fries, pizza, I mean they got everything. 

He's being very slow and careful. He's walking on eggshells and he knows it. 

Tony: How do you feel about it? You can tell me.

Nick: Baby steps.

A/N: YES! Finally! I've trying to write this for a week. Sorry for the delay. Hope you had fun reading it. Oh, and follow me to keep up if you didn't already. ;)