Ze Vlog of a Misérable

Chapter 1: Dionysus and Apollo in the toilets

"What? Are you nazis or what?"

There is a lethal silence at Grantaire's words. The air feels cold all of a sudden and everyone looks at them. Really? That's shocking to them? After having gasped every time Grantaire introduced themselves as "transexual" instead of "transgender", now they pretend to be shocked by the nazi reference? After what they were just saying about the fact that new members of the association cannot date old ones because of the "mentor in queer communities" dynamics and the imbalance of power that could ensue?

"Godwin already," Courfeyrac sighs, "how original."

"Is there a problem, Grantaire?"

Grantaire can't help but smile upon realizing the one and only Enjolras, who their roommates have been lowkey bitching about for weeks, knows their name. (Lowkey bitching as in: they are aware Enjolras' principles are needed, but they are so... tight... indeed they are. Sweet.)

"Well, I'm only here to see what's going on but... like... your rule, like... consider this: not everyone's gaydar always works... well, mine is excellent, but I tend to recognize people's gayness before they do because self-erasure shit. That's how I ended up barfing on my own new shoes and then walking three kilometers in them. Anyway... where was I... yes... no... just... are you aware that queer associations are way better than OkCupid for baby queers to find mates for the devil's tango? You can't take that away from them," Grantaire objects, being way too long and messy to be convincing.

"There are other dating apps," Prouvaire replies with their soft, deep voice, "I found one where you could also search for friends. Rad. I could give you the names."

"Yes, we should definitely make a list of those," comments Lesgle, Grantaire's first roommate, "as a resource to share. It could come in handy. I'm dating three ace people at the moment. How on earth did I fall into that trap?! And two of them are long distance."

"Too much information," Bê, Grantaire's second roommate, says, "but I'd like a list too."

"Ok, I'll add that for the next meeting," mumbles Combeferre, writing it down already.

"Why not during today's meeting?" Joly asks.

"Can we focus and settle the dating issue first though?" Combeferre replies.

"We're gonna go late again," Courfeyrac sighs dramatically.

"Our association is not a speed-dating event," Enjolras says coldly, their eyes fixed on Grantaire, "if you think it is, the door is open."

"Maybe I should take it myself, I'm sorry, I'm gonna be late for the CJL meeting," whispers Courfeyrac quickly.

"I also have something with the NPA," adds Combeferre.

Enjolras shrugs and they take it as an authorization to start leaving. Although Combeferre manages to keep taking notes. She sure manages a lot.

"I just think," Grantaire says, "that it's counterproductive to have such rigid rules. Besides, it gives a weird image of the ABCD. Like as if you already had shit going on."

"Well, to be honest, we had shit," Hamid Saraj comments.

"And we're not here to discuss it," Enjolras asserts, "It's not about making a secret of it, of course, it's about priorities. Let's vote. Do we all agree with the rule Courfeyrac suggested?"

They all nod, except Grantaire who comments, "I'm no member, I have no say."

Again, Enjolras' cold look is on them and it's worth all the provocations. Grantaire has just met the unofficial leader of the association and already, they know they want to "bother" them a lot. Enjolras is bigger than life. Tall, graceful, impressive, and so focused and tense they give the impression their head is about to explode at any second. Opposites attract. Grantaire is drawn to them.