Ze Vlog of a Misérable

Chapter 6: Ostriches don't text

Of course it didn't pass. The stupid video Grantaire made at La Mutinerie that they posted without anyone's validation didn't please Enjolras . T hey just barged in to the shooting of the tenth vlog, which was supposed to be about Marius' confession to a lady (who didn't show up ) and ended up being about how shitty Grantaire was, how sorry they were, and how rape culture was a thing and it was baaaad.

Enjolras interrupting Grantaire's tenth vlog

Such a boring video. Grantaire was certain their viewers would HATE it.

What would be nice in watching Enjolras express their displeasure with the whole situation--with Grantaire not showing up in meetings and making disorganized videos and bets on their sexuality?

"They didn't say a word about how uselessly persistent you are in your courtship though," Marius says, setting her futon out yet again for Grantaire to spend the night at her place.

"It's probably to save their precious saliva, not because they're secretly flattered by my lack of subtlety," Grantaire answers bitterly.

"You know, I think it's complicated to respond positively to someone's intention if it seems like this person is laughing at you. You hit on them like an awkward middle schooler."

"Woah... burn! I'm totally not. I'm the seriousest of the seriousest about Enjolras. Which is why we shot that second part of the video."

"Where you apologized like an awkward middle schooler forced to make up with the guy they punched in the face for stealing their Pokemon cards."

Grantaire raises their eyebrows and doesn't deign to answer. Marius can be such a downer sometimes. As if she wasn't behaving like a stupid high schooler herself, stalking a girl without daring to confess her feelings.

And then... speaking of stalking, there's a knock on the door. Eponine!

"I've got weed," he says.

"Well, we've got pizza, it's better," replies Marius. "Right, Grantaire?

"Yes, mom."

They set the table (a tiny IKEA b lack one that Marius covered with glittery stickers) and watch some TV while eating pizza together. Marius informs Eponine about the latest developments while they're at it, mentioning her own crush on the mysterious lady as if it wouldn't have any impact on Eponine. He winces but doesn't ask more questions (although Grantaire expects to be texted on the matter later ).

"And you think they'll have you back?" Eponine asks while chewing on an endless thread of cheese.

"They should. I did research, the final video is open and genuine, and I apologized!"

"Woah..."

"They apologized super badly," Marius explains, "I've never heard worse apologies, even from Justin Bieber."

"Let me tell you, bro," Eponine says, "apologizing is the most important part of life! You gotta be good at it! Sincere! Apologizing it's like facing your inner demons, fighting them and pulling their guts out and becoming a better man in the process!"

"Sounds intense," Grantaire says.

"And you gotta have the puppy eyes! Come, I put Snap on my phone; it's this app where you can make your eyes even bigger so we can examine properly your level of honesty when you apologize," Eponine says.