Ze Vlog of a Misérable

Chapter 2: Ironic Creep

"So... I guess I have to give you my condolences for what happened on Queens of the Hills. It's all over Tumblr."

Again, Grantaire's sentence is followed by a deadly silence. But they don't notice it at first. No. They continue.

"I mean, Flash Cock-Rough wasn't exactly my favorite from the little I knew but considering the altar you and Bê have for her, I guess she was the character you liked most. Well... Bummer ... no more Cock-Rough in the show. The dynasty is now officially extinct. And I guess... they chose the worst moment to make it happen, right?"

At this instant, Bê comes back from taking out the trash. He stops at the entrance and shares a look with Lesgle. Grantaire, who was very carelessly washing the dishes, leaving traces of food everywhere, faces them and realizes what is going on.

Which doesn't prevent them from pursuing:

"Just after Moula Lisa confessed her love to her, after years of being nemesis. Seems like they wasted an opportunity at pleasing the fans and canonizing an 'enemy to lovers' trope. If you ask me, this never happens in real life."

And weirdly... this is the last drop needed to push both Lesgle and Bê to make the decision they avoided making until then. They start screaming at the same time. They always wait three days after the show's latest episode airs to watch it with Joly. What was Grantaire thinking? This is really too much. Grantaire is the worst possible roommate. They don't pay rent regularly; smoke indoors, spreading ashes at every corner; leave that mop of a coat (among other disgusting clothes) everywhere; they destroyed the toilets four days ago and didn't even clean up after. They just ran away. And now, they're carelessly spoiling their favorite show. As they scream, Grantaire adds spoiler after spoiler, relishing the chaos that they cause.

And then they're pushed outside of the door with only their backpack and shoes. Lesgle throws the mop coat at them, which actually hurts a bit because the buttons are metal. It takes a few minutes for Grantaire to realize what's just happened. Why? They were quitting weed and cigarettes... and getting better! For real. And Grantaire has a few subscribers now. And even comments on the Youtube Channel (Grantairezemiserable) they opened to distract themselves from smoking, following their online therapist's advice. And their roommates noticed they didn't smoke anymore and complimented them just yesterday. It was getting better. And then...and then...they said "bon débarras"... well...

They check in their bag. At least the gopro is still there. If they want them out... well, they're out. And for good! They decide. Grantaire doesn't need them after all! They just need a gopro to give their new subscribers what they want.

"I'm sorry, bro, we're already three humans, three cats, ten rats, and a dog in an apartment meant for two," says Gavroche when Grantaire calls him to ask if they can crash.

"Even just for a night?"

"Well... you can try the bathtub like last time, but these days Javel is nervous and she tends to take dumps there."

"Well... thanks for the offer. I'll consider it if I have nothing by the end of the day."

Grantaire spotting Marius during their third vlog.

"What about apologizing?" Marius asks when Grantaire tells her the whole story after meeting her randomly during the shooting of their vlog.

Hearing these words, Grantaire can't help but laugh. Marius is so naive.

"What?" Marius asks. "Is it so unreasonable?

"Listen to yourself!" Grantaire exclaims. "Why should I apologize! It's a stupid show!"