Trigger Warning this chapter contains blood and the mention of self-harm. so if it makes you uncomfortable, please scroll past angels <3
It isn't up until this point that I realize I'm at my lowest again. The familiar feeling of blood running down my thighs as I scrape the piece of metal through my skin, sliding it through like butter. The pain is almost comforting, yet discomforting at the same time.
I watch as the blood slowly drips onto the floor, slowly in sync with the faint ticking of the clock in the next room. I begin to cut even deeper the pain soon becoming unbearable, the familiar feeling of déjà vu begins to overpower me as I slowly watch more and more blood spills out of me.
This relapse has by far been the worst one, almost 5 fucking months I made it through without slipping into this addiction, but now I've fallen back into it and God, I've fallen hard. I contemplate making one last cut and putting an end to all the pain as my vision becomes a blur from the tears brewing in them.
I twirl this razor in between my fingers and clench it in my palm, I suddenly feel very guilty for allowing myself to slip back into my old ways, but at the same time I feel very calm and at peace, as odd as it is.
Somehow I work up the motivation to put the razor away and live on another day until we meet again old friend.
- Mari
Remember you're loved. You got this, angels
YOU ARE READING
The Words That My Mouth Failed to Speak
Poetry*Completed* This book can best be described as a plethora of my thoughts combined together to form the words that my mouth fails to speak. Before you read this book. Open your mind, it is only then will you come into acceptance with your own thoug...
