Trigger Warning this chapter contains the mention of self-harm.
It's 10:45 and I'm laying here. I think being addicted is something that we all fear. I don't get it, just an hour ago I was feeling fine. I had no worries, nothing on my mind.
Now I'm drinking liquor just to kill time because suddenly as the clock continues to tick on by, you're the only thing that's on my mind.
I used to write about life and how I wanted to die. Now I'm always numb just tryna feel alive. I feel like every day that passes by, I'm just gonna keep getting more and number as the days go by.
I cut lines on my body every single night, to make sure that I'm still alive. I've attempted suicide like 7 times, but I know that I'll let my family down if I die, so I'll just stay and keep going numb until the end of time.
It's 10:45 and I'm laying here. I think being addicted is something that we all fear. It's crazy how so much can change in a year. People will come in your life and leave you in the dust, that's why I don't believe in this thing called trust.
Some advice I think we all should hear is to never continue to live in fear because in the end you will just end up constantly feeling, that the end is near.
Now you might say broken hearts heal in time. But the truth is, it will always be stuck in your mind. You don't just wake up one day and your feelings are left behind. Because it seems that, when you truly love them you always will until the day you die.
You run from your past, building up the walls that you'll hide behind. Leading you to the inevitable feeling, of constantly being confined, entwined forever by your mind.
It's 10:45 and I'm laying here, I think getting addicted is something we all fear. Now I'm drinking this liquor just to kill time, I pop 6 pills just to ease my mind.
It's 11:49 and I'm feeling fine. Those pills had seemed to ease my mind. Always remember don't get too attached, because once they leave it'll fuck you up, I promise you that.
It's 12:59 and I'm drinking once again, just to ease my mind. I realize I've become addicted to you, as you're the last thing on my mind.
Soon after, I become succumbed to the sleep that is long overdue, as my mind is still scattered due to the overwhelming thought of you.
-Mari
Thank you for reading my angels.
If you're struggling with your mental health don't be afraid to message me loves.
I feel like this song really fits this chapter, feel free to listen if you would like. ✨☁️
YOU ARE READING
The Words That My Mouth Failed to Speak
Puisi*Completed* This book can best be described as a plethora of my thoughts combined together to form the words that my mouth fails to speak. Before you read this book. Open your mind, it is only then will you come into acceptance with your own thoug...
